The Vision and Value of Your Wedding Day

Weddings from the Pros Podcast

Ep. 57 with Nathan, Olivia & Alejandro

As it’s always better to learn from the people that came before us, and on this episode we have Alejandro and Olivia Luna on to share valuable advice for every couple’s wedding journey. We also talk about how to make your wedding day a reflection of what matters most to you as a couple.

In This Episode We Cover:

  • How to choose the best venue that reflects who you are as a couple
  • Crafting a vision for your wedding & why it’s important
  • Why you should tour venues with your partner
  • Why simplicity is a powerful thing
  • How to create experiences for your guest to make your wedding feel magical and unique 

Listen to the full episode here!

Read the full transcript of our conversation below!

Here Angled Light Photography. We believe marriage is an amazing adventure and your wedding is the jumping off point. We'll explore planning an authentic and meaningful wedding experience as we connect with real life couples and the industry's top professionals. We're here to inspire and encourage you as you begin this journey of a lifetime. 

Hey, everybody welcome back to another episode of the show. So I am here with Olivia and Alejandro, two of the coolest cats you will ever find in your life. And one of the goals that I've had for the podcast now has been to bring on couples who have actually gone through the process, have lived the life of planning a wedding and then having it and then getting to come back and talk about it a little bit because I feel like for all of us it's really good to learn from the people that came before us. Right?

And so people like Olivia and Alejandro are those people. So guys, you guys just got married? First off, Congratulations. Yeah, I'm so excited for you guys. And why don't we start off with you guys telling us a little about yourselves. How'd you guys meet? How long ago did you guys meet? Just give us a little bit of back story on, on you guys. Oh, you Olivia. Okay, I'm going to try to do the short version. So we actually met in June of 2014 on Folly Beach, which is in Charleston south Carolina and I was living in Tennessee at the time and Alejandro is actually from Greenville this area.

And we met at a photo shoot there and then stayed connected for the next two years and reconnected through social media and as they say, the rest is history. I moved to Greenville about a year later and so we've been together officially, I think almost five years. That's cool. There's a lot of really cool little stories tucked away in there, but we don't have time for right now. But y'all's path to getting to the wedding was super cool. So I just want to say that before we get started, it was super cool.

All right. So when you guys got engaged, let's start there, you guys got engaged. I'm sure that you were excited, right? Kind of walk me through a little bit like, what was it like planning the wedding and getting kind of all the big pieces in place. Did you guys follow any kind of ethos? Did you guys have any, any kind of process to the way that you guys are making decisions? That's good. Yeah, we made the decision early on. There was actually a venue that I had known about for a really long time and it was different.

It was, it was so unique. So different than anything else that I had ever seen in this area. And so it was obviously high on our list and they actually are pretty all inclusive. So that's a big term right there. They handled the venue the flowers, the decor the food and the coordination. So I mean if you're planning a huge event that knocks out like half your vendors. So that's a big deal. That's a big deal. So anytime that you can do something that is half inclusive, All inclusive, any kind of inclusive shout out or allowed Edinburgh West and Kennedy and the whole team there, they were incredible, the entire, the entire journey.

And if you have never looked them up for sure look them up, It's a beautiful venue with so many opportunities there. So that was a huge kicker that honestly set us way ahead of the game. Um and I think I booked them the week after we got engaged. That's cool. So you had known for a while that, that was like the place you wanted to be, describe it just a little bit like what about it did really resonated with you. Yeah, so, I mean when you pull into the drive, it's a beautiful, super tall iron gate aligned with bistro lights and a beautiful brick wall and you just feel this huge presence, but not like overbearing, you just feel like you're walking into something super grand and then they have this beautiful glass building that has this beautiful scroll work and it's just like this english conservatory garden, any kind of feel.

And we got married in front of the gazebo, which is also where we got engaged. I'm going to just drop that little thing there, but there's multiple places to get married there. You can do your ceremony. I think in four different spots and it's, it's like picturesque and it's very different than any other venue here in the area. So the uniqueness of the place is really what drew you to it. Oh my gosh! Like, so we actually saw it in drawings before it was ever built and I knew at that point that that's what I wanted.

I had never seen anything like it and I think as a bride, you want to be unique and it's hard to sometimes do that without following the path of everybody else because you want to do it right, you want to do a good job, but you also want to be different. And Edinburgh allowed us to do that and it just was not to be cliche, but it was completely magical. Yeah, I remember when we were sitting down at a table and uh just by chance Mark wheeler just happened to be right next to us and he was just like, yeah, we're working on a new venue and had the drawings with them.

And so he showed Olivia and she was just like, yeah, that's where I want to get married and she was just so sure about it. I was like, there's a lot of places, you know around like this is just a drawing like, like she just what she saw and it ended up being just the perfect place for us to get married. It was awesome. This is probably a good place to just go and let people know because they'll probably come up later in conversation. You guys are both kind of in the wedding industry.

You say there's a lot of places because you know, there's a lot of places where you've been through a lot of places, right? Yeah. It's really unique for me because the last time I checked I was shot as a photographer, I've shot over 250 weddings and so experiencing so many like from every type of wedding that you can think of, every place that you can think of fancy barn weddings or you know, just like anything. And so just to see her make that decision really quick. I was just like, okay, I have you not weighed all the options you really like, you know, and so, but you know, like I also wanted to, you know, I didn't want to let what I had seen kind of like, I don't want to like come in with a preconceived notion of like what I wanted or anything like that. Yeah.

So it was kind of cool to see see her. Yeah. I always think that's the first step. Open mind. Open heart, open eyes, like that's that's and that's super hard to do when you come into the wedding planning process, but like it sounds like you did that and I'm guessing when you guys finally got to see it in person, it kind of solidified everything that you were like, hey, this is it, totally, it was magical, It really was okay, we're only allowed to use that word twice in the podcast.

Okay, so actually, I will never forget the first time that I saw Edinburgh and for everybody else who's listening to this, who is not in the industry, I highly recommend that you go with your partner and see the venue that you are thinking together together, like feel it out like it's almost like buying a house, like you have to feel it and I will never forget the open house that Edinburgh did in October of whatever year that was, but I walked in and I looked up and there was this gorgeous chandelier in the ceiling and it was done and I literally cried and it felt so right, and it just felt like at the time I knew that it felt like me um and I felt like it would feel like us and because we're both a little extra and over the top and Edinburgh gives you the opportunity to be that way if you want to be, but it was, it was just a really cool experience to go and see and to feel it out, like so many things about your wedding are, about how you feel like whether it's your venue, whether it's your vendors that you work with and so making sure that it feels right is really, really important.

Yeah, that's cool and it's funny like after experiencing you guys and experiencing the wedding and in Edinburgh West, like I can't imagine it anywhere else. Like it really does fit you guys to a T. So Edinburgh West just for everybody listening, you should check it out. It's just outside of Greenville south Carolina. It is a beautiful english conservatory. Just like you said, it's like basically an english. Yeah, greenhouse is the wrong way because you think of like plants, right? And there is a lot of plants hanging from the ceiling, but the place is just beautiful.

So like a glass conservatory, there's I think Mark once told me there's only like three or four like it in the United States or something like that. Like it's, it's very rare, very unique property, very, very beautiful right outside of Greenville south Carolina. So that obviously took care of like a big portion of things and it took a lot of weight off your shoulders. I'm sure like you're not having to deal with catering decor or the venues taking care of obviously, but even things like rentals like chairs and like flowers and you know, tables like all that stuff. Right?

So basically a lot of that weight was taken off of you. So that's fantastic. That's really, really cool. What was like the next step for you guys? Like was it trying to dream up like what your colors were like, what did you guys encounter next in the planning process? I think maybe the best thing that we've done was to ask yourself this good quality question is like, what is our values? Like what matters to us on the wedding day and we could filter every decision that we made through there.

And it really was well for her, what was your, what was the biggest thing for you for the wedding? Mine was sentimentality. That was huge, like and not sentimentality and like tradition, because those are two different things, but sentimentality in it being us. Yes. Like intentional, very, very intentional. Yeah. And of all the weddings I've ever photographed, I feel like you guys nailed that so much more than other people did, right? And that's one of the reasons I want to bring on the podcast because to me and I've said this in a lot of different places, a lot of different times and I'm starting to feel like a broken record, it feels like, and you know this being a photographer, you know, there is a lot of weddings that I'll go to and it feels like a carbon copy of last weekend.

You know, it honestly feels like everything was the exact same that I just experienced the week before. Nothing about it is really all that different, unique and that that breaks my heart for the couple because I honestly do think that the couple always wants it to be unique and wants it to be different and wanted to be them, right? So one of the missions I have is trying to bring people's attention to that and say, hey, maybe the first thing to do when you're planning your wedding isn't necessarily like go start, you know, looking at instagram because you're going to see like what the person before you did right?

You're thinking about the wedding that you had just been too, that's somebody else's wedding, right? That's somebody else's and trying to ask those inward questions like you said, that's such a great point, like what are our values and what matters to us and then filter all your decisions through that through that funnel. I think that's a great way to go about it totally because there's so many different things to be thinking about during the wedding, like the decorations, the getaway vehicle, like the entrance to exit, like the people that are gonna be there, family money, like everything in the world and so so I would just say, don't, don't let the complexity of planning a wedding distract you from the simplicity of what you're trying to accomplish there.

And for her it was sentimental sentimentality and intentionality and for me it was guest experience, you know, I really just wanted all like to show off all our friends and just for them to get to know each other and for them to have a good time there for me to, you know be able to see them meeting and greeting with each other and everything like that and because that was one of those decisions that I made early like this is what I want at the end of the day.

Um I will be happy if you know this or like I'd feel good about our wedding if and then because I was thinking about guest experience that helped me make a decision on the entertainment and the you know the 3 60 booth or like the other stuff that we had going on there and so it just made a lot of the decisions a lot easier there. So yeah that would be kind of my like when it, when it comes to planning and decision making, I would just say kind of focus on like what's really important to you on the wedding.

That's yeah and like obviously for us I think as a couple like at the end of the day you're married that is the most most important part for sure but we were actually talking to a friend last night and she was like you made us feel like a million dollars at your wedding and I like I'm not going to cry but it like that's what we wanted like we didn't want like what what an incredible gift. Like I just grasped my chest because I was just like that is the ultimate like compliment for a wedding like you're bringing all your people together and yes, they're celebrating you there celebrating your life, but we wanted to celebrate them, like they've helped create our life to be the way that it is and so that's our claim to fame, like we're just normal people but we have amazing friends and it was just so cool to get them all together, that's super cool and it's funny because I can see exactly what you mean by that because I was able to experience it, you know like having the 3 60 booth there, I saw the joy that it brought the people who came to your wedding right?

I was able to see how they would go and they would interact with each other in that 3 60 booth and be able to really elevated the fun that they were having. It gave them something to do when maybe there was a little bit of a little bit, there wasn't multiple. All I want, I want to go ahead and give a shout out to holly's cakes, This is probably a good place to put it in when you're talking about like the experience that people are having at your wedding, I'll let you guys, this is you Alejandro, Go ahead, tell us about what you guys had coordinated with fall from the ceiling, Oh my gosh!

Well he didn't know about it, it was a surprise for me was a surprise, but you know, it started off as a joke because you know, like, during the planning process, I was kind of sitting back and the reason why it was not because I didn't want to be involved in the wedding, it was because my opinion didn't matter. I said that joking, it was kind of like one of those things where, you know, you have a wife or a girlfriend and they're just like, hey, do you like the blue color or the black dress better?

And you're like, oh, I like the black dress. And I was like, okay, well I want to wear the blue one. And so, like, after about 15 of those relationships, I kind of realized that, like, you know, she was really just asking for my opinion. I don't know, maybe she just need a sounding board or something like that. So, I was just kind of, you know, just kind of coasting. And she had asked me, she was just like, okay, look, I'm getting kind of like, you know, overwhelmed.

I need you to take more, you know, more on point with with some of these decisions. And I'm like, okay, well, like, what's one thing that I can take off your plate? And she was like, well, I need you to, you know, to handle the wedding cake. And of course, you know, I was just kind of, I don't know, extra details, details are not my thing. And I had, you know, I had seen a lot of weddings and a lot of wedding cakes and, and if you like follow my photography career was kind of funny because, like, when I first started photography cakes were like, one of my favorite thing to look at, because they were all unique.

And I love novelty and I like new things. And I was like, okay, there's big cakes or small cakes, there's, you know, different color cakes there, You know, there's a dramatic cakes, there's all sorts of cool things. And so, like, but after, you know, 202 150. And I was just like, okay, I think I've seen them all. And so to me, I was just like, well, either I like, I really don't care. Um, unless it's something I've never seen before. I've never done this before. So I'm like, okay, well, if you're going to make me in charge of the cakes, I'm going to go super boozy and or extra, and it's going to be like, I want this cake falling from the ceiling.

You know, I want, whatever. And so, like, I would have brought it up to, to holly with holly's cakes. And of course she is. And this is another thing, it's just hire professionals, right, hire people that have done this before and stuff like that because I just, you know, I threw these ideas at her and it's just, and she gave me that look like really like, you wanted, but, you know, of course, she was like looking for ways to make that happen and they all ended up lying to me apparently and telling me that just couldn't happen and I was like you know what, like it's totally fine like that was a big request right?

Like I have never seen a cake come down from the ceiling or be like hidden during the day and then just like come down from the ceiling before and so um and so I was just like you know what, I'm good with just I was going to say a regular cake but this is holly cakes, hot cakes, we're talking about the cake that she designed and the whole process of designing, it was just incredible and I let Olivia talking about that process and the the cake ended up being amazing.

But yeah, they did surprised me with it coming down from the ceiling and it was funny is like until that moment when they turned me around and they pointed at the ceiling and all of a sudden the this cake just starts descending from the ceiling and I'm just like oh my gosh! And there's like a spotlight on it and they're just like you wanted a cake calling from the ceiling and you know there it is and so like it was your face, your face was. I was like okay, I don't get surprised very often.

I can usually pick up on like people lying to me very good or lying or I say lying, but you know, just like, yeah, yeah, yeah. She got me. She got me good. So well, yeah. And and it's funny because going back two things, the first thing is you guys were still in the moment, you were looking at the cake and you guys were looking at each other and it was like a cool moment for you guys. But to see everybody else's face again, the experience that the people had at your wedding was they were experiencing things they had never seen before.

The 3 60 booth, a lot of them hadn't seen before, right? Even though it's, it's a new thing, a lot of people for me to Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's cool. So like most people haven't seen that yet, a freaking wedding cake dropping from the ceiling. Nobody had seen that for like those experiences are things that like, you feel like you only see once in a lifetime, right? And they happen at your wedding. The other lesson I want to take from that is hire professionals. I think that's great advice and then be creative and then like shoot for the moon, ask for it.

They may say, well sure we can do that for an extra fee or because they might end up spending more time on it. Or maybe it requires more materials than what they're used to. Like that might become a part of the conversation, but it doesn't mean that it can't be done right? So like think about something that you haven't seen before and then find a professional who's willing to try to work with you to make that thing happen. Like that's that's an incredible thing, you know what I mean?

Absolutely. That that would definitely be something I would recommend to anybody is just like when you do hire professional and this is the magic of professionals, is they have the experience in the wedding industry experience really is king because even after all the weddings that I've shot, there's always something that surprises me even still, but a lot less than it used to. And so you start noticing trends and you know, all sorts of things and you really take like if you're holly's cakes, you're taking your profession very seriously, You think about it all the time.

And so one of the things that we told her it was just like, hey, like what is something that you would want to do? Like, like from your perspective, is there something that like, you've always wanted to try but nobody's ever asked for and you know, ask your vendor, those kind of things like ask some good questions about like, you know, and explain to them, like what your vision is and be like, what do you think? You know, asking those kind of things, don't, you know, I'm sure that there's some vendors out there that are just kind of dying to, you know, do something other than just the norm, you know, for sure for sure.

So let's kind of go then into the final stretch right before the wedding, right? So like the final 23 months, let's kind of focusing on that. What was that like for you guys? What did it didn't feel stressful was at the time that you guys were still making some final decisions. Did it? Like what was going on around that time and what can you share that we might be able to learn from. It's a blur. I think I've blocked it all out. No, I'm kidding. I'm totally kidding.

I'm still in therapy for it. So I will tell you this when you hire professionals, they make it a heck of a lot easier. And I think that when you're first of all, well, second of all, I think I've already done my first of all, but it's a lot more details than you think it is. And I don't mean that in like, like there's, there's a difference like when I say details, I don't necessarily mean like every napkin having a monogram or like those kind of details.

I mean like literally timelines, logistics, logistics are huge. Thank you. Like it's not just, it's not just the cute details. It's the logistics of handling 10 or so vendors for a certain period of time and tons of moving parts. So prepare yourself for that and if you feel like you're ahead, don't stop, don't stop. And I feel like, I feel like people might be thinking, oh these are just wedding professionals that are just saying that it's like no, everybody who's listening to this right now that had a wedding are all nodding their head and emphatic agreement.

They know because they got to experience it unless you're doing like an elopement and as you want, five people and one minister and like one photographer and like you guys are gonna be singing acapella for the music like unless it's that there are way more moving parts than most people think there are when it comes to a wedding day, our wedding specifically was quite extra and when, when we talk about giving your guests an experience that doesn't necessarily have to mean cakes falling from the ceiling, but it does mean like good time, like making sure they're fed, making sure that all the time things work for them and like just to be honest, as sentimental as it is and as precious as that day is it is still a production and that's okay, You're putting on a huge events and a lot of people have never done that and so hire somebody who can help you with that who will think of all the things that you don't think about.

Yeah, that's such a great point. I want to touch on the sentimentality for a second. Like you guys really try to infuse a lot of that into the wedding day that you possibly could. One thing that really stands out to my mind is you guys personally got up and I know this isn't for everyone, not everybody feels comfortable in front of a big group of people, but you guys personally decided to get up and and really thank the people who meant a lot to you Steven and summer were there.

You guys pointed out Stephen a summer and you thank them for how they connected you into the community and all that kind of stuff. You think your friends who are really close to your parents, like there was a lot of, there's a lot of giving back for you guys, right? It wasn't just one way where everybody was giving to you, but you guys took a second to give back to them and I just thought that was super cool. What motivated that, that's just always been kind of like who I am.

Like, I'll never forget to pay homage to the people who got me to where it was. And for me, a lot of those people, they're like, they had become family to me and they had really, I mean like Stephen and Summer, I did shout them out because yeah, for we've been working together for a long time and you know, over five years and uh, I mean, yeah, Steven and summer gossip, They own financing and Noveli photography. They hired you when you first got into the area. Right?

So like they were really your introduction to everybody from what I learned at that wedding. Like I didn't know any of this before the wedding right? But like at the wedding I realized that they were your introduction to everybody else. So a lot of the connections that you had there at the wedding were because of them. That's awesome, right? Like that. And they also just like they're also kind of got me started with just thinking about like business and you know, and um entrepreneurship and all sorts of awesome things and you know the, you know, giving back to our guests and saying things about them.

That was actually something that kind of fell through for us. We were planning on doing something a lot more. I wanted to write out some, you know, and have a, not like a speech but you know, I have some points. Um and some more specific people that I wanted to shout out. But honestly that was one thing that I hadn't really planned for as well as I could have and we ended up having just wing it on the day and so well I think I thought it was well though.

Yeah, I thought well yeah, yeah like, but I think that's the way we feel that was just like when we were discussing whether or not we wanted to have toasts or have you know best man and maid of honor toasts. Um us. I was like, man, I really like the people that we have surrounding us, the people that we have um behind us at this wedding. Like I wish we could like do a toast to them. Like they're the, they're the people that were most proud of that.

Like, hey, like these are the people that we were elbows, elbows, but these are like the people that we have speaking into our lives and we're just so proud of it. It's really cool. Yeah, that's cool. Yeah. And and some of the decisions that were a little like alcohols are pretty standard thing that a lot of weddings you guys in addition to that decided to bring in a coffee bar, Synergy coffee was there, which is super cool. Like that's a great idea for a lot of all the people who want something different, We're awesome right?

For somebody who want something different, you know, and not just maybe doesn't want a beer, doesn't want alcohol, but they also don't water sweet tea. You know, they even had like these really amazing concoctions with like ice cream and coffee and I was like, yeah, I'm sure it was amazing right? But little things like that is what's elevating and giving back to the people that you feel like, you know, poured into you guys over your lives. So go ahead. I'm sorry. Well I was just going to say that like we, you know, you asked us early on like how we handled our vendors and things like that and we actually know the owners of synergy coffee Cody and Sarah, like two of the most amazing people you will ever meet in your entire life.

Um and we, we actually invited them to the wedding first and then we actually pulled our guests, we said what would you like to see at a reception? And almost everyone said a coffee bar and so I love coffee. So I mean I would have done it selfishly anyway, but it was nice to know that I had back up a lot of our guests. I mean we had people, I kind of made our rounds and there was a line at the coffee bar the whole time and so that that was something that everybody got to really enjoy.

We just ended up Cody and Sarah actually had us over to their house at one point, even before we were even considering you know, bringing them over to, you know, having them at our wedding, we were just kind of friends and they invited us over and and the way that Cody and Sarah served us and they like literally it was an experience just to come over to their house and they were just you know, in the way the craftsmanship and the way that he made drinks and you know and the way that the attention to detail that they put in their food and their presentation everything like that when I was thinking about guest experience, I'm like, dude, I want my guests around these people and so that's that's a great point.

Yeah, you know, it's funny, so let me first say this. So synergy was on a previous podcast episode. If you listen to this and you're interested in this, you should go back and listen to them. They were only about five, maybe seven episodes ago, but I had Cody and Sarah on and one of the things that we talked about was providing unique experiences for the guests, right? So that what they were bringing to the table wasn't just coffee, they were doing like mixed drinks, like lattes and mochas and they were doing like the amazing, like, like piece of ivy and drawing the art on top of the, you know, when you talk about craftsmanship, like they pour into every drink the same attention to detail that you know, that that you're describing right now, that they intended, no pun intended.

But you know, but but again, going back like to, to the bigger picture is things like that, making decisions like that. What you cared about was your guest experience, right? And so and so that's that's the kind of things that come out of it. Yeah, so something else about our wedding that was unique that, you know, we talked about this earlier, just encouraging people to get creative is I started looking at invitations very early on and you can do invitations however you want them. There's so many options and I really wanted something that was unique to our wedding and my mom and I were brainstorming one night and I was, and I love watercolor and I was like, what if we do a watercolor of the gazebo of Edinburgh?

And that idea just took off and from a friend, from a friend, I got connected to an amazing watercolorist Krysten Summey. She is incredible. And and I reached out to her on instagram and I'm like, like half of my request start out with, I have this crazy idea. So there's that and she was like, well I've never done invitations before, but I'll be happy to paint something for you and if you like it, I'll send you all the things that you need for, you know, printing and things like that.

And I cannot tell you my experience with her was incredible. She would send me color swatches to make sure that she was going to be doing the correct colors of the flowers of the wedding? She was amazing to work with. And so after she did our invitations and I love them so much, I was like how would you feel about painting her wedding? And she had never done that either. She normally does like other like landscapes and other types of other types of art and I mean Nathan, you saw it like it was incredible, like incredible.

and like we are, we are going to love the photographs of our wedding but what an amazing way to capture a day, like 100% the watercolor because I got to see it kind of added as it's being made during the ceremony. Right? So she came and she basically set up, she was there for probably like 30 45 minutes before the ceremony started and she would get started with kind of like the basic layout, you know the chairs and the people who were sitting there in the gazebo and then once you guys got there and you guys were in place then she started kind of painting in you guys and in the moment as it was happening, super cool, like it's just so cool and and she, she loves to paint in front of people which I think is unique for an artist, some of them perfectly dry away from it.

Yeah, they shy away and so she actually stayed through the whole entire reception and I loved those set up, it was like you had the bar on one side, the coffee bar on the other side and she was in the middle and people could just watch everything to be created and talked to her while she was doing it and that was another experience that our guests got to see and enjoy the whole time. The next thing I wanna talk about is like you guys, you know this Alejandro, you've, you've seen this right?

There are a lot of weddings that you'll go to, where the wedding party, it's hard to figure out why they chose that group of people to be there. It didn't feel that way for you guys. It seemed to be very intentional, every single person who was standing there with you guys, because again, I I got to spend time with you before the ceremony, right? And to see how you guys interact with each other, how they supported each other, specifically Alejandro, you like, when you were getting ready and you're preparing to leave the Airbnb and head over to the venue, like it was impactful on me, like, I was impacted at how supportive the people that you guys had chosen to be, there were two, you um it's not always that way and I thought it was super cool, so I wondered if you guys wouldn't speak into that just a little bit, like how did you go about choosing the people that you wanted to have in your wedding party?

Because I personally believe, and I tell people this a lot that probably one of the biggest things that's going to affect the experience that you're going to have at your wedding is going to be, the people that you choose to be around to be there with you that day, right? So you guys want to talk about that a little bit, like, what was that like? Yeah, I'll say something like I think that the people that we had there at the wedding, it started way before we were thinking about marriage um kind of one of the things that we challenge ourselves to do is to surround ourselves with people that really challenge us and and intimidate us in a way, you know those people that are like you said that the wedding?

Yeah, but that's cool. Yeah, like I really intimidated because like I'm like man, you know like when are they going to turn around and find out that like, I'm not as cool as they are, You know, that's the way I feel like about like all these guys and I could have probably like chose another like 20 guys to be there. But you know these these are the guys that you know like we always say you're the sum total of the five closest people to you and so I'm always which I think that I think is 100% sure by the way, I'm always thinking about that, like who you know, are they adding value to me?

Like, you know is my value going up based on who I am around. So like when it came to who's gonna be in my wedding party of course is going to be the people that added the most value to me and they just simply didn't stop on the wedding day, you know there's something going Yeah, yeah and I think to like being a bride that did not get married in my early twenties, I'm 28 so I've seen a lot of weddings and I've seen a lot of friends be in weddings and I've been in weddings myself and and I think the thing about being in a wedding is like, you never know sometimes if you're actually going to be friends with that person after they get married, right?

So for me, I chose ladies and a lot of people on both sides of ours were married. So we had a lot of couples in our wedding parties when I'm trying to say, and these are couples that have stood with us through a lot of things and I picked people and ladies that I knew that would stand with us afterwards and that didn't just support me or didn't just support him, but actually supported us as a couple and would fight for us as a couple and at least on my side, like, you know, we have some people that were very close to me that weren't always super supportive even though we wanted them to be.

And so in those moments we had friends that would just stand with us and remind us of who we were and how we were as a couple and that's who you want when things get tough, like you want friends that are going to do that for you. And so like, I didn't want it to be like, oh, let me make sure I have an even number of people which we did not by the way and that's totally okay, totally cool. Yeah, the right photographer will make you look amazing.

I shout out to Nathan, but God, I hope I did that, but it does not matter. Um and like my whole getting ready process um one of my bridesmaids hosted us at our house and it was just so peaceful. Like the whole morning we switched from like calm music too. I think Diddy was around at some point and like we just enjoyed ourselves but it was just so calm and peaceful and I know we also talked a lot about that through our planning process. Like we did not want anything involved in our wedding that would not create peace and enjoy.

Well no, I guess I saw 101st that day, but I saw you second and you guys were so chill. Like you guys were like so chill. We have been talking about it for a long time. We're just like because we're, it was a mad dash to the wedding but we're like on the wedding day, everything is in place where we are just going to relax and let the professionals take it you know. And another point to the people that we had there at the wedding, we're we're very serious about you know about this marriage and and if we are thinking about it in a long term sense.

And so the people that you have there, you do want those people that will say something to you if they see you slipping up. And I know that every one of those guys would definitely hold me accountable. And so that's definitely another reason why I wanted them there. That's so cool. Yeah, that's that's that's that's that's an interesting just the whole idea of finding the people this has never been talking about the podcast for, right? And I don't reference when I was a teacher a whole lot.

But when I was a teacher, I used to tell the kids a lot that like if you want to find yourself in the best possible position in life to constantly take advantage of the good things when they happen. You have to put yourself around the best people that you possibly can put your put yourself around people that challenge you. You know, you need to look at your friend group, you need to look at the five people. If there's somebody who is not elevating who you are, then you need to just slowly back away.

Don't be mean, right? But just slowly back away and find that other person that you can add to that group that will lift you up and that will encourage you to be the best version of yourself. I think that's why I just think that's so cool. And I've never I don't know that I've ever talked to another couple who's thought about it that way. So that's something that's really special and unique for you guys and I do want people who are listening to this to maybe take that into consideration when they're planning, you know, who they want their wedding party to be for sure.

I got to see the really positive effect of that decision and it was incredible. Yeah, totally, and um, you know, and they're all givers too, which was really necessary on the day, like cognizant of the timeline, which is great and they were ready when they needed to be, they were never in the way or we weren't waiting on anybody. I know I've shot weddings in particular where there's always that like rogue bridesmaid or the road groomsmen that comes in late or hungover or something like that and like, you know, they're just throwing a wrench in the timeline or something like that, you know, I didn't have to worry about that with any of our guys and like from ironing my shirt to helping me out with my vows last minute, like my guys were just there for me the whole time.

It was amazing. It was really cool. Yeah, that's something else that I really respect about you guys is that you've done such a great job through the planning process of straddling the line between focusing on the pageantry of the wedding and like you said, it's a production and you're doing it and you're investing in it for the experience of your guests, you would focus on it, but you wouldn't let it rule how you felt. You also kind of kept your center really, really well and you constantly work going back to this place of, but it doesn't at the end of the day really matter all that much right?

Like what really matters is that, you know, we're starting, this is like the jumping off point. This is where we're starting the rest of our lives and we're starting our marriage, like that's what's important. So you guys really straddled that line really well, was there any, I hate to ask for like a strategy, but like how did you guys walk that line and walk that tightrope like you did because like, that's something that's really special and I, I would encourage more couples to do that. It's not about the day, it's about the lifetime.

And um, so I'm a bridal stylist by trade. I have, I absolutely love what I do. I get to help ladies find their gown for their incredibly special day, but sometimes it's really easy for a bride when you're in the thick of it to get so bogged down and honestly, it's not just the bride, I think it happens to couples on both sides. But um, it's really easy to get bogged down in those details and you forget the reason that you're getting married and the reason that you're getting married is because you love this humans so much that you want to spend the rest of your life with them.

And when you get engaged, it doesn't mean that you stop growing as a couple and then you pick back up when you get married. Being engaged is a huge growing area. Like you are making huge decisions together that you've probably never made before and you're integrating families that you might not have integrated before. I get the amount of brides that come in to shop and they're like, they're meeting for the first time and I'm just like, alright, well if there's a knock down, drag out, I'm out.

So, but anyway, um but you're making a lot of decisions and if you focus so much on the detail and not the relationship, that's where it gets really hard and so I would just say to keep sight of the end result, like that was a huge day. It went by really fast. We are so thankful that we hired people to document it for us because it just was literally a blur in the best way, but it's done like we're married, we're now an old married couple and we're going to go do new things and move on with our life and I am so glad that we didn't allow the details of the day to stunt our growth as a couple because now I feel like we're not like stuck in this like wedding hole of like ok now, what do we do?

Like, no, we're ready to go. Like we feel very equipped as a couple to continue on with our life. Like that's one day. Yeah, it's a very special day but it's, it's one day. Yeah, you had a really cool celebration and you celebrated all the people who were special to you guys and you celebrated each other and you celebrated this jumping off point and now it's time to move on, right? Like perspective really is important. It's hugely important and just remembering that it is just a day and it doesn't feel like that because for months and months and months you've been planning this right and you've been thinking about it and, and sometimes, I mean like it's like try effect of the, all of the things that are like stressful anyway, you've got family, um stuff going on when you're deciding like who's going to be there.

Like all that kind of stuff. You got money, stuff going on, You got relationship stuff going on like all these pressures all happening at once. I kind of was joking around with like this must be prepping us for marriage because oh my gosh, like sometimes, you know when you're talking about like when she was talking about like the colors of, you know, so, and so like, like this and that and she's expecting me for me to like have an opinion and like I'm just completely done. There was moments there where I'm just like, it doesn't really matter in the end.

It's just going to be for a day and you know, like sometimes you can make little things really big and so like, um if I was to have a hack or a practice or something that I would tell you guys you're not going to do it, nobody's going to do it. But it really helped me out. It's a meditation practice. If you can learn how to meditate and breathe and actually be present in the moment and work on your perspective. Oh my gosh, It helped me so much during the day.

That's actually something I was really intentional about and on the day I was able just to breathe and continuously bring myself back to the president because especially being a wedding vendor and like I'm always thinking about the timeline and you know, the angle of the photographer and what's going on and all this kind of stuff. And I just have to keep on bringing it back to be present in the moment, you know, like be here in this moment and and it helps so much and yeah, just like you said, and then after the day was over, it wasn't, there wasn't a huge let down.

It was like mission accomplished. Like we did something really good now we get to start the real work, you know, that's cool. You want to go and do you know it's okay? We haven't talked about like budgeting. Yeah. And I know that this has already been talked about on the podcast a lot, but I would say like from a couple's perspective, so we're in the industry, so we kind of had an idea of what things would cost, we had no idea what they would cost. Ok, take your budget and double it.

Yeah, so but okay, so you could do that or or get some perspective and the only way you can get some perspective is to reach out to professionals and or like get with a planner and find out what what really things cost because it's really hard to say, oh is this worth it or is this what I want to do if you don't have a full grasp of the whole entire wedding and what all goes into it and what all is involved. And so I would just highly recommend get some perspective on it.

Talk to either like a bride or a professional who has, who has been in the industry for a long time because that helped us a lot. Like when we set a budget, we didn't set a budget based off of what we thought would be right, you can't do that. You have to base it off of like sometimes like the reality of what things cost and you also get what you pay for and so I would just recommend to couples to do that. Like sit down talk about what you think you want and get some perspective on a budget for my wedding group is a good resource to people.

They're very confident and they'll give you some prices and point to the right direction. Yeah, that's cool because they've, they've got a website that's probably a good kicking off point, right? It's just my wedding group dot com. I think so. Okay. Yeah. I think that's like such a great point, right? The topic of budget, I think it makes people nervous. You know when you start thinking about like how much money we're paying for the wedding. I think people do generally think they start to breathe a little faster, right?

You know, it goes back to that meditation that you should probably be doing like when you think about the money site and I do always like to follow up that comment or that conversation with those decisions do need to be based off of what's important to you. Yes, right? Like because the reality is like the same thing isn't important. Everybody right? Both been surprised in a good way, right? But I've been surprised and delighted that when I talk with couples to discover what it's important to them and then I start learning about their story and I'm like, oh that makes sense.

Like that's so cool. And so I can totally see why they would choose to spend the bulk of their money here at the wedding and do this at the wedding instead of doing that right? There is always that thing of, I think I even told you guys like, I don't, I don't believe that there's a right way to do a wedding. I don't believe that there's a, there's a one way that that has to be done, there is a national average, right? And the reason, because there's a national averages because things tend to be done kind of the same way from wedding to wedding, but it doesn't have to be that way.

And, and I think we can all agree here that one of the best things that you can do is figure out what you value, figure out what's important to you when it comes to the wedding and then do your best as a couple together to prioritize those things, right? And then decide, okay, the money that I have realistically right? Like what things realistically cost, like where, how do we want to prioritize and how do we want to budget that? Right? Was that a big, like, how long did it take for you guys to go through that journey of figuring all that out?

I don't know if we even figured it all out on the very end? Like going back to his earlier comment about just double it, whatever you're thinking, No, I will tell you this. So we booked, we booked Edinburgh first and they do a great job of outlining what things will generally cost for a certain amount of people and so that kind of gave us gave us a jumping off point and then from there, I would say that it took us about probably a month and a half to really kind of like figure out a budget and do some research um I mean we weren't speeding and tell us about it, but I will say this when you as a couple talk about it and decide together and continue to communicate about it, that budget is not scary for sure.

Yeah, it really isn't, I would say that most of the time the fear is generated from the lack of communication, like that's what leads to fear and that's what leads to the anxiety, the lack of communication, the lack of openness about what you feel comfortable about spending and what's important to you and what's not important to you, listen more than you talk right and try to talk a lot or try to listen a lot, rather try to listen a lot. I think most people would find that when you listen and you care about the other person, you would not be getting married to this person if you didn't care about them, right?

When you listen to how they feel and what they think and what they value, you're going to tend to empathize, right? You're going to tend to go, oh, I get it, okay, yeah, okay, I get that right, I understand even even though you might be still be pushing for your point, right? Just to understand first, seek to understand before being understood, right? Exactly, exactly, yeah, yeah, people skills books, read some communication books honestly, I think that that might have helped a lot. I also heard this thing the other day was like a man convinced against his will is a man convinced of his opinion still and I'm like, I'm like that's so true, so true.

And I'll give a really short example, so Alejandro had seen this 3 60 photo booth by uptown company, they're incredible. Um they do DJ lighting all the things and they just introduced this new 3 60 photo booths, like you stand in the middle and you get this 3 60 view of you and as many people as you can fit on the platform having an amazing time and it's all done on video and it's incredible and I was like, okay, well that's kind of cool, okay, well it's honestly if it's in the budget and she really didn't want it, I didn't think it was that important.

I didn't but he kept asking for it because the guest experience because the guest experience like like how often do you get dressed up like that and when you do get dressed up, how nice would it be to have like a full picture of yourself for a full video of yourself, you know, dressed up and so like I don't know, that was kind of yeah and and so knowing him and also when we talked about budget, we talked about things that were important to us and mine was sentimentality and his was guest experience.

So I didn't just, I couldn't just look at that 3 60 booth through my lens of sentimentality which it did not fit in, I had to look at it through his lens as well which was guest experience. It's such a great point. And there was a line at the booth of the entire time and it was epic as a matter of fact, I've got this really amazing picture of you with your parents and you guys had just gotten off the booth and you guys were watching it on the screen, you and your mom are just laughing beside yourself, right?

And your dad's watching it and he just got the smile on his face because your dad's not like a super emotive. He did cry very several times on the wedding day, which was which was it was all very cool, right? But like the smile, he just, he was just a very content man, him watching the video of you guys having fun in that 3 60 booth and you guys smiling and like and you can actually see the like screen on the right hand side of the image, like it was obvious that you guys had a great time with it, right?

And so like just in a great example of like coming together coming to a consensus totally and it was the same the same way for me and um the invitations he was so head over heels about those invitations and I was like oh like I really didn't care like not in the least bit and it's probably because of the way that I opened invitations I just opened. I'm not thinking about that trash, I'm not thinking about it by the way R. S. V. P. To like if you're a guest listening to this R. S. V. P. Like and do it early and do it quickly because like oh my gosh like and I was that guy and I and I now realize how important it is to get a good guest count before.

So I want to go back to that. But first the invitations is a cool thing like when you had the watercolorist actually designed something that was really unique to you guys and your story because that gazebo that was on the invitation was the place you got proposed to write like very very important, very personalized, very special like that experience that you know like I know probably didn't look at it like an experience but like that like opening that up like that's a piece of art that I am almost positive that everybody took out of the envelope and put somewhere in their home right?

That didn't go in the trash. The whole new perspective. Yeah. So going back to the R. S. V. P. Thing you got going on their doors and like oh my gosh, we had a we had a trip with the RSVPs. We actually messed up. We wanted to put a QR code because like now everybody's using QR codes, right? And so we want to put a QR code on the thing and we ended up messing up the QR code and we send out, he says we that was definitely me, he's being really kind, he's being a good husband and we had to resend everything and it was kind of a pain in the butt.

I think that maybe I don't know how else to get people are well let me, let me just kind of give the full picture of that. So typical invitation, you get an invitation, you get an R. S. V. P. Card that has lots of information on it. And then you have an envelope with that's already pre postage ready to go. And that's a very traditional way to do it. We didn't have a whole lot of the more mature generations attending our wedding and we were also using a website called Zola that would help us with all of our RSVPs and our guest count and our table chart which was amazing.

And so my husband is amazing and techie and he was like let's do a Q. R. Code and at first I was like that does not work with my watercolor. Excuse me. She's like QR code is ugly and there's no way it's going to get in the car, Nathan's laughing because he knows that that's very me and but but it was so easy. Well when they got the right one gearing up for battle for his Q. R. I didn't want to be like this is the one thing that I like.

Yeah like one thing and I'll tell you this that that it was very easy for our guests to use especially because we were working and we're moving everything through a website already. So once we input all of our guests then those same guests like it was a very easy process. So I guess that would be our advice is to keep it as easy as possible because if we didn't have the QR code people would have to pull out their cell phones and then go to the browser.

Type in address oh my gosh, type an address. I mean that's too much honestly. And like honestly I'm saying it because I probably would like I would probably put the card back on the counter and be like I'll get that later and then forget about it. And so like just pull up your phone and scan it and you know go go about your day. You know I do think the QR codes a cool idea for sure. It did work. Yeah. Alright, so we go to the planning, we get to the day.

Everything just goes amazingly. We've talked about all the really positive things. Was there anything that you guys learned from the whole experience? Right? Like the planning? Because we talked about a few of them, like, you guys have introduced some of those concepts, but like, anything that you guys want to leave people who are planning their wedding right now with after experiencing what it's like to plan a wedding, what it's like to actually have a wedding, what it's like to leave that wedding, go to a honeymoon if you wanna talk about honeymoon.

Was there anything just from the overarching journey of getting married that you would like to, for people to know, just don't sweat the small stuff. I mean, even like, the day of the wedding is a good example. I've never seen Alejandro in a tie that I liked, so he's always worn, and I've always styled him in a blazer and a button down with no tie, and for the wedding, I felt like, you know, he needed to wear a tie for the formality and blah blah blah blah blah and well, at like 1 30 I get a phone call and we can't find his tie and I had lots of opportunity to do a bridezilla, whatever and you're not supposed to do this, but I was like, well, just send me a picture because he was like, already dressed and I'm like, well just send me a picture, like, let me just see.

But like, I know him and that's who I'm marrying is the man that looks amazing without a tie on. And so I didn't feel like he really even needed it. And like literally when he said that, I was like, oh, well that makes sense. You don't wear ties anyway, like let's just go with it, like and nobody cared. He looked incredible and it was him and like, he should be himself on his wedding day. And so like, that was just one thing where I was like, you know what, I can't do anything about it.

I'm however many miles away getting ready and I can't solve it and can't fix it and nobody else is going to care or notice and he's going to look great Anyway, so it's cool that he said that so I actually have photos of that whole interchange happening. And it's funny that like, it's funny that I was I was there when you realized that you didn't have the tie and your best man. This goes back to the conversation about having people around you. I was pretty sure that your best man was going to get on a flight and fly to California to go get you a tie if that's what that that's what it is, that's what it would have taken.

And it's so funny because like I remember, you know you texted Olivia and thank you called her and she, I think she said, or she texted, she just sent me a picture, you sent her the picture and then she sent it back and you were like, she thinks you think it's fine, like it's cool. And I remember like, all the guys looking at each other, like who was in the room at the time, and I was like, oh, everybody was surprised because like, like everybody saw the dread, like, as I was dialing and like, like the color drained from his face.

I know, and then she was just like, oh yeah, it's fine. It looks great. Like everyone's like, like a big collective sigh, like, right, right, right, but you did look great without the tie. Like, I've never seen you like, now that she said that I have never seen you with a time before, and it just looked like Alejandro, which goes back to this whole idea of design your wedding to be you. Right? Here's the thing, like, at the end of the day, the only thing that makes it a wedding truly is the words like, do you take so and so and like, do you promise?

And and I now pronounce you man and wife and I now pronounce you like, whatever the case may be for you and your person, but like everything else can be totally tailored to you, like that's the cool part is like, if you don't want flowers, don't have flowers. If you don't want cake, have pie, have, I don't care. Cupcakes do whatever you want, like that have like feel the freedom to do whatever you want to do. It's your day to celebrate you as a couple and that doesn't have to look like, oh, 2022.

Yeah, don't get handcuffed by tradition for sure. Also, if I would just say anything about the whole planning process, you know, in hindsight thing that I like wish that somebody would have told me or like, I don't know if I would have said it that way, but like something just good to keep in mind is just you, you guys as a couple creating this wedding day. I know that like here, I'm mostly gonna be pretty sure that most people listening to this podcast is going to be women and I would guess that they're usually doing the most um of the planning and prioritizing and you know, everybody jokes around about the guy just showing up on the day and just, you know, saying the words and get married and you know, leaving with her at the end of the day.

But um and I'm in no way a romantic type of guy. You know, she's the hallmark movie person and I rolled my eyes with the predictable endings and you know, all this kind of stuff. But um if there's any guys out there listening, I would say just go ahead and lean into it like lean into the process help her out when you can really kind of like seek to try to help her with the process just be there for in every possible way that you can in the end it ends up being a lot better when it was something that you guys created rather than something you just showed up to and women be nice to your guys man like it is rough to to to I mean it's hard to as a guy to like lean into colors and details and you know all of these tiny little things that honestly like a lot of us don't really care about as much as you do and you know just be kind of a guy like um and give like set them up to win.

You know, don't put them in situations that are going to um I don't know just make things worse. So um I really appreciated that from Olivia that she gave me enough an opinion and gave me enough responsibility to make it my day too and not just like me showing up for her day and it was really cool like collaboration and both of us in the end up happy and we really liked it so well said well said I do I do tell women all the time that like for most men this is so far outside of their realm of comfort, right?

Like this is not something that they've spent the saturday mornings in the fall like thinking about and talking about and like the colors and you know like what you want your guests experience to be like that. Just imagine like the boys hanging out and just be like, oh my gosh, I just wish that like, you know, like I hope I get water color, just like it just doesn't happen, you know? And typically typically not all guys are the same, but typically I think that you bring such a great point to the table about both guys leaning in, right?

Being courageous about leaning in and being humble. Like you think that's the most courageous thing that you can do 100%. I totally agree with you. And also the other side being true to where it's like women do be understanding because like you're asking your guy to have an opinion on something that he has no idea and like what guy ever wants to look like a fool in front of the person, he's about to marry nobody, right? Like no guy wants to say, well I think we should go with this.

And then she'd be like, why would you go with this? Like, you know, like, like no guy wants to be embarrassed, right? You know, especially to the person that he wants to look the most confident and the smartest and you know the best and you're asking him to make input on things that he just doesn't know anything about. You know, I'm not saying that you shouldn't work with him and teach him and and to lean into it just like you're saying, I'm just saying like Grace is good thing, totally Renee Brown writes some amazing books and she she talks about vulnerability and really leading into it and how that is one of the most courageous things to do because I mean you know, acting cool is easy, crossing your arms and checking out emotionally is super easy.

100% leaning into the hard part, leaning it's hard, you know, I was just going to say that there were a lot of moments where the conversation would start out with like me mentioning the price of something and him being like it costs what? But then the conversation that would have afterwards where I would not just like get upset that he felt that way or he would not get upset that I felt a certain way, we would talk about it and be like, oh this is actually a lot more important to us than maybe we thought or so this really isn't that important to us if you don't feel that you know if you don't feel that strongly about something and I don't really feel that strongly about it either.

We don't have to have any kind of conversation about it, like we can, you know reach these hard topics and then talk about them and it becomes this little mole hill instead of a huge mountain, just like you said to understand before you being understood, ask those questions. Like as soon as I heard that like the price point, I'm just like, you know, it's just like, okay, well explain to me how it makes you feel like you explain to me why this is important. Like let me see from your perspective and you know, and then also from her side, you know, she had to have the ability to be able to to tell me those things, but then also to understand what's important to me and you know, come to compromise.

Yeah, for sure. And it goes back to what we said earlier, like the two big principles that you guys built this wedding on was I wanted to be sentimental, right? Or I want my guests to have an incredible experience. So then when something gets brought to the table, it's like, okay, so what categories is falling into and and is it truly accomplishing what we're talking? We're saying it will, right? So I mean that's why I think it's such a great, great piece of advice. Well guys, is there anything else you guys want to mention or say this is an end there?

But like is there anything else you guys want to say before we wrap up? Yeah, if you practice a choreographed wedding dance, make sure that you practice an address that's similar to the one you're going to wear on the wedding day for the record. I think that's everyone's favorite part. But it was so priceless guys. It was so prices dropped her, my worst nightmare. But but you guys okay, Okay, okay. Okay. So now that we said it and it's on the bad guys, like they had a choreographed first dance, it was epic.

It was huge. It was amazing to elevate that whole experience because you guys worked really hard. I want to give a shout out to jumping jukebox. They brought in like the walking on the clouds. So like the fog was on the floor, which was super cool. They had, they had like sparklers that was like shooting off the indoor sparklers that looked like fireworks, that's shooting off inside. And they had like every light known to man beaming. Like I thought I was walking into heaven when I was like, so like they really went, pulled out all the stops to really elevate that whole experience for you guys and, and it was really cool, but you guys worked on a choreographed dance for months and at the end, the final move, like it had gone, I thought flawlessly.

Like I didn't see any problems right? There might have been, but just just do the dancing in the clouds because then nobody can see your feet the whole time. That's the trick. That's cool. That's pretty much did it flawlessly. But at the very end, when she does a little spin and spin and then I dip her in the sparklers go off and it's just the perfect ending. We didn't account for like that big train that she had and we didn't get a full spin on it, my feet got caught up in it and and she hits the floor and disappeared into the clouds.

It is literally the photo, I'll go and tell you the photo is your arms sticking out of the clouds. You can't see you at all. You just see these arms sticking out, it almost looked like just like Halloween photos. Hilarious because from my perspective like when I dropped her, she like disappeared in the clouds and also nice to see his little arms like poke up right, but you guys, but you guys handled it so grateful, you basically got back up and then you redid the move again and then it was right we did and I'll tell you this to another, another perspective on that, is that like we walked into this wedding with very different comfort zones on dancing and I must say this man worked really hard and he knew how important it was to me that we honestly it was one of those things, it was like dancing is literally my my worst fear and of course I'm a married girl that loves to dance bro bro the rest of the night didn't look like you were out there dancing, like you were having a good time and I was leading in that's cool comfortable at all but like I was just in it you know I was going for it that was so cool Yeah it's so cool I was just going to say that like it was important that like he feel comfortable and what made him feel more comfortable and confident was to do something choreographed and I love that I thought that was great because I'm little miss theatrical whatever but leading up to it like there was honestly like that was that like learning that dance was some of the most growth we've made in a couple like it was time for us to focus on each other, time for us to work on something like that we both could do together and communicate with each other and figure things out and it gave us this good common ground to grow on leading up to the wedding and so then we had the most epic first dance I've ever seen in my entire life falling all and then I watched him dance the most confidently I've ever seen him the rest of the night and into the honeymoon in Mexico let me just tell you but that brought me so much joy like it it was worth all of the like no you didn't do it right no don't touch me just you know like all those things that we did our like step on each other's toes and punched me in the nose anyway, there is video proof, so I will not speak on that any further, but it just made all of that so worth it.

And bro, you did look confident like did he not? You look like you look like you know exactly, you look like fred Astaire out there, right? Like you look so confident. Yeah, and I know because I know him, I hope really well but enough to know that that was really hard for him and he thought and lead into that through the entire wedding planning process and that my respect for him grew through that and that was just such a cool thing just to watch him get out there that night, I will say that the dance and the vows were two things that were kind of like things that were kind of intentional about doing and those things I think we're ended up being more special than I thought in the end.

I'm glad that we did for sure. For sure. Just that everybody knows we wrote our own vows. Yeah, they were amazing. You guys did such a great job with him. Your vows were just absolutely incredible. You know, and I think at that point that you're making there's a larger lesson embedded there too, but beyond the obvious, which is I think back to like the times in the past 10 years that my wife and I have grown closer together, there's always been a very, very, very tangible goal, there's always been like something that's very distinctive, like, we know what we're working towards together and we know what that end result is going to look like.

And there's a book called the vivid Vision, it's a fantastic book you never read, it's fantastic, it's called the vivid vision, and like, we have a vivid vision that we know what the end result is, right? A lot of times, I think that to say we just want a good wedding is kind of nebulous, like, what does that actually mean? Right? And in a lot of ways that is kind of nebulous, like, there's a lot of things that could make it great, there's some things that could make it maybe not go so well, but to like, give yourself like something creative in the wedding, like what you guys did with a choreographed first dance, to give yourself something that you can come together a little bit every week, be working on together towards that vivid vision that you have, because I'm sure that in your mind's eye as a matter of fact, I remember us talking about it, like, I remember you guys talking about what you want that first dance to look like.

Like I remember you guys being really excited and it's it was very clear that you both had a very, very clear image of what a successful outcome would look like for you, right? So when you guys got together that was very motivating for you to get together to work through all those little things like you're talking about, that would come up in the process of getting to that vivid vision that you both had. Like, I think that's a really cool piece of advice that I've never thought about before, right?

Which is, don't just say you want a good wedding, like actually pick out a couple of things that you can work on together that that may take both of you outside your comfort zone, but that, you know, you have a burning desire to see accomplished that you feel like you want it to go well and that that'll probably do a lot towards pulling, you're pulling the two of you guys together during the process. It will. And it also helps you not sweat the small stuff when you focus on a few things that are really, really important to you as a couple.

It it also just, you know, that if you did those things right, you had, you had an amazing time and everything else is just extra and it ended up being kind of like a date night almost like, well I would say a date night, but like we didn't really have a place like big enough to to dance on. So you have to do it in the street. And so we'd end up having like bring a laptop out and like put it on the car and then, you know, sync it up to a, you know, bluetooth speaker and then, you know, get it going.

But, or like driving out into like parking lots late at night trying to find like a flat place to, you know, to dance and ended up being like a really special time to, to bond and get to get to know each other. So like little things like that. If you do plan for stuff like that, a choreographed dance or you know, anything together, just don't forget all the intangible effects of, you know, you guys working on something together and in the end getting to experience it together.

I don't think there's a better way to end this. Thank you for sharing and being open and being honest and being straightforward and sharing what you guys have learned through this process with other people. I did not realize we're hitting an hour 15. So like we talked for a long time we did, but but before you finish up, I just also want to say one thing photographer was one of the most important things that we wanted to look for a wedding and um and Olivia was talking about Nathan and that she had got to work with him several times and he was amazing and I will say that, you know, like coming from a photographer's perspective.

I've shot a lot of weddings, photographers have a tendency over time to um, to kind of check out or to mail it in or to, you know, be like, oh, I've seen this over and over again, you know, just kind of do your job, but Nathan, not for a second, did he mail it in? He was just there, he was in, he was thinking like, of different creative angles and you know, he was just working and he wasn't working, he was like, enjoying the day as well, and it was so fun.

He wasn't just like documenting the day. He was a part of the day and I would completely 100% recommend angled light photography because they were absolutely amazing. I can't wait to see our pictures, thanks to you didn't have to say that, but of course, thank you. Yeah, but you guys, it's an honor for me to always be a part of a couple of day and to be able to observe and to some great extent, be witness to the beginning, what I consider to be the jumping off point for the rest of their lives, right?

Like it's, it's an incredible honor and it was really cool to be able to see you guys and hats off to you, like you guys put together something that was incredibly special and I think that the energy that was felt in that room when everybody left that night. It was, it was extraordinary and that was due to you guys and you guys putting the important things first. So, congratulations. Like it was really cool. Thank you guys. I hope you enjoyed this conversation with Olivia and Alejandro. You know, I'm sure you can probably find them on social media if you want to reach out and ask questions, you're you're welcome to reach out to them and ask questions.

But but hopefully, you know, having these conversations with couples who have gone before, you will give you just a little bit of a little bit of encouragement and a little bit of and maybe just a few tips here and there on things that you can do to really elevate the experience for yourself and for the people that you love. Until next time. I hope you have a great day, a great week, a great month and a great year. I'll see you next time here, angle life photography.

We believe marriage is an amazing adventure, and your wedding is the jumping off point. We'll explore planning an authentic and meaningful wedding experience as we connect with real life couples and the industry's top professionals. We're here to inspire and encourage you as you begin this journey of a lifetime

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