The Depth Of A Relationship with Lawrence & Melissa

Weddings from the Pros

Episode 76 with Nathan, Preston, Lawrence and Melissa

Preston and I are pleased to have this insightful conversation with Lawrence and Melissa as they share with us on this episode the foundation of their relationship and the aspects they took into consideration which led them to be able to make meaningful choices for their wedding.

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In This Episode We Cover:

How to make your wedding memorable.
Why talking to your wedding planner and photographer helps you plan and create the perfect wedding.
Do not stress your self when it comes to planning.
Visualized what you really want and make it into action.
Schedule and talk with your partner on what you want to have in your wedding and how you can improve on it.

Read the Full Transcription Below!

Here at Angled Light photography. We believe marriage is an amazing adventure and your wedding is the jumping off point. We'll explore planning an authentic and meaningful wedding experience as we connect with real life couples and the industry's top professionals. We're here to inspire and encourage you as you begin this journey of a lifetime. Hey guys, welcome back to another episode of the show. So I am here today with three of my favorite people in the world. Mr. Preston bailey. How you doing? Great, Great, Great. And I were also here with a LP couple Melissa and Lawrence.

How are you guys doing? We're doing great. We're doing well. Yeah. Just about 30 minutes ago, you guys like got off the Uber like you walked in with your backpacks and everything. I didn't realize you were coming straight here after the flight. You know, been in airports since nine o'clock last night. Okay. Yeah. So, well, we're glad that you're here too. So we are excited to have you on the podcast because you guys have actually been with us now for what feels like a very long time. We've gotten to know each other almost more so than us and a lot of other couples have because when you guys reached out and I can't remember who reached out, was it you Melissa?

Who Yeah, So when you reached out and you were looking for possibly having us come and document your story in your wedding. We kind of got into this conversation. You're like, well, we're not in town right now. We can't come to the studio to talk. We're actually in Colorado And I think I responded back something like, yeah, I love college. Well, I don't love Colorado cause I've never been to Colorado, but I would love to go. I would love to go to Colorado and I think I threw that out there or something.

And then you guys started you telling you, you were telling me a little bit about your story and I was like, so what if, I think, I think I was the one who introduced the idea. I was like, so what if we came out for your engagement session and had your engagement session in Colorado? Because I wanted to see it and I knew that there was like one place in particular, the great sand dunes was like someplace I was very excited about going and shooting and everything.

So that was about the same time that Preston was coming on board at LP. That was in the early stages, that was in the early stages. And I reached out to Preston, I was like, hey, you wanna go to Colorado? And he was like, who doesn't want a good. I pretty much made my mind up like halfway through that sentence. I was like, all right, we're going to Colorado. I don't know what it's going to take, but I'm gonna make this happen, right? So what was really cool though was that the place that I really wanted to shoot, like one of my top bucket list destinations, which was the great sand dunes.

It was like a very memorable and significant place for you guys to, so you wanna tell us why? Well that's part of the question. Yeah. And why did you choose the great sand dunes? So yeah, when I was 16 and I took my first trip out west and the first night, my first ever night in Colorado, we stayed at the great sand dunes and camped out there. Yeah. Nice. Yeah. It was like a big three week trip with a bunch of high school was, but that was the very first night I ever spent in Colorado's great sand dunes.

That's cool. That's cool place that some friends and I had spent some time too and it's just really special to both of us. We celebrated his birthday there when we were just dating. So that actually, that was the weekend too. We got back from that trip to sand dunes and we both were like, oh, I love you. It was that the first time. That was it. Is that is that how it hits you? You're like, oh, she actually came with it first, did you? Yeah, cool. That's awesome.

So yeah, there's a very meaningful place. Yeah, it was a very meaningful place. Yeah. So it was, it was like really cool because like the place I wanted to go shoot was like the place that you guys got like a memorable part of your story and it just lined up and I was like, we have got to do this. So it was really cool Preston and I flew out there and it was really great actually, my wife came with us just because we both wanted to be able to see the state of Colorado and we got like a highlights tour of the state, like if there's anywhere in Colorado that we didn't see, that's absolutely beautiful, I can't believe it because like we flew into Denver, we met you guys in Denver and that was like really fun gathering and we left from there and we basically car, we didn't carpool in the same car, but we caravan, that's the right word, thank you.

We caravan out to Aspen and so we spent the night Aspen and had maroon bells, which was really, really cool. And then after that the next day we drove south from maroon bells and we went down to the great sand dunes and that's the whole story we'll get to in a second and then after the great sand dunes, then we came back to Denver and flew out of Denver, so it was like, it was like just an awesome experience all the way around. So first I wanted to say thank you, like allowing us to come and do that with you guys and be a part of that, You guys were such gracious hosts while we were there the whole time, like we talked about it all the time.

We go back and watch the video about it all the time and also thank you because that was kind of, you know, there's a common theme of when you go out into the outdoors with people, you tend to bond right? Like you guys had that experience, you know, like when you're traveling with people, you get to see a different side of them and it generates some closeness. So I feel like, you know Nathan and his relationship, that was the time, the first time I travel with him. Right?

And so I came back and I was like, okay, I really got to see what this guy's made of, see him work under pressure and different conditions and I was like, all right, this is a this is a relationship that's gonna be meaningful to me. So well, I think you guys to most people that we tell that story to like you made them drive all of that distance in 48 hours. It was a pleasure. I mean they said they wanted to, but so no, it meant it meant a lot to us because I think I think the original plan was just to go to the great sand dunes and then and then you did this to you.

She literally emailed me and was like, do you think I'm crazy? And I was like a little bit, but you know, it doesn't have to ask. And you said yes and it was great. So yeah, and the entire thing which we had a great time, like we all got to bond that weekend. It was, it was a really cool thing. One thing that really stood out to me consistently was that you guys were constantly like kind of asking what we kind of feel like are the right questions and Preston, I talked about this in the studio all the time where it feels like a lot of people approach wedding planning from kind of like this task management, this list kind of thing where they're just kind of checking off things to kind of put together this party and they're just kind of doing what they think they should do.

And I really felt like you guys in a lot of those cases, there's one time in particular, I remember we were driving, we woke up at like two AM one AM or two AM or something like that. It was early and we went out to the great sand dunes and on the way back after that session on the way back, you guys were like asking some really great questions about like what have you seen here and like what should we do if this is what we want?

And you guys were really intentional about asking like how do we make this wedding the most meaningful thing, It could be right, like how do we, how do we spend the time appropriately and how do we budget our resources appropriately and all that kind of stuff. So I want to commend you guys for that because that's rather rare, right? It's not usual. So like where'd that for you guys? Where'd that come from? Like what motivated this question? I feel like at least I started, I didn't know what the hell I was doing, you know, and I have to give a lot of credit to Melissa because I mean part of what she does in her work is is planning of events.

I mean that's what she's dialed in on and manages a lot of different pieces of things and so very meaningful, very meaningful. And so I mean this obviously is on a whole different level and she came in with a clear head in terms of organization and then once I kind of held that bandwagon, it was like, okay, we can do this. You know, we just set intention yeah, kind of along the entire route. And so they're, I mean they're truly was like a deep understanding that organization had to be key from the very beginning.

That's cool. That's cool. Yeah, I think the other thing is, you know, there are a lot of tasks that you have to complete to plan a wedding that's just inevitable, but I think maybe being a little bit older and maybe being a female also, I've seen a lot of people get lost in that and just seen some of the weddings, I've been connected to? Just people go a little crazy and I really didn't want that experience and I also didn't want the people around me to be stressed out like on my behalf, if that makes sense.

So, and then I think, you know, for us because we're really a little bit older, maybe, hopefully a little bit wiser. We also wanted our wedding to be just as much about celebrating the people around us as it was about celebrating our life together. And I think keeping that in mind and just keeping the perspective of like these tasks are going to lead to a really great experience. Hopefully anyways was really, really helpful and remembering that we wanted this to be about other people as well, helped us to not get so lost in at all.

Oh yeah, and and lost in it all and it being lost like than just the two of us. Yeah. So there was a lot of balance between like, well what we desired and what we wanted everybody else to experience. And it made it easier to actually, I think, I think it made it easier to make decisions and we weren't, I mean sure there were minor details that as that day got closer we wanted to try to pin down, but like we weren't lost in a ton of little details.

Like we had a concept, we went in with a concept and we even, you know, through those few months that don't have meetings every few weeks and you know, we go on our weekly date and be like, are we honoring what it is we're trying to do here. And we just Yeah, that's so and then we also would do a good job of also being like, we're not going to talk about the wedding tonight. Like we're going on a date and we're just like that the two of us, that school that was more hard telling me or not.

But I think I think that was helpful like having time for just us and like the whole few months leading up to the wedding wasn't just about the wedding. Yeah, that's that's epic. Yeah. That's cool. That's really well. And so it's funny you said that and I want to, I did not ask you guys to say that. I did not encourage you to say that I didn't prep you guys at all but president, I have been talking a lot about this very, very thing, right? Do you want to kind of talk about how, what the relationship is between what they just said and kind of the thoughts that we've had over the last couple of podcasts. Yeah.

I mean, I I think one thing that jumps out at me is talking about not letting the wedding like logistical side dominate, right? Like you're enjoying the process, right? And you're still like being intentional about like the dynamic between you guys blocking off time in your weekly date and like making engagement fun. I feel like we talked to too many people that feel intimidated because it is intimidating to plan at this huge event with involving so many people and so much money, but just the fact that you were thoughtful enough to like still blocked off time and enjoy the process. Yeah.

Having the values, like, knowing what you want your wedding to feel like, right? It was very much focused on not just you guys, but also like the community side, right? Your friends and family and walking away. I mean that was a great wedding and it really did feel like that was very communal, picked a communal space, everybody was like all together and that's what I remember feeling when we left and having a great time. Yeah. So obviously the work that you guys did before the wedding paid off, right?

Because I think you guys, you were even saying before you have to the podcast that at the honeymoon you guys were kind of reflecting back on the wedding and you guys, I kind of thought to yourselves like, that was amazing. Like, is that really, is that how you felt? Is that the kind of conversations that you guys were having totally. Yeah, yeah. And and I think the one, I think, I think the one key piece of it for me at least is I mean this is not to say that this is all smooth.

Yeah, because you know, there, there were a few date nights were just like things are stressful, but we both at the end of those would say, hey, no matter what happens in any of this planning, we're gonna both show up that day. Yeah, and be fully present to one another. That's cool man, That's so killer man. Like again, all these connections between what we've been talking about and the way you guys did this and and back when you guys were doing this and going to this process your wedding was now I think we said five months ago.

So I mean like this was a long time ago and these are thoughts that press and I've just had recently, but like the couples that has set their intention from the very beginning, who have really kind of cast a vivid vision for what they wanted their wedding to look like and feel like and and how it was meaningful to them and kind of really defining the character of their relationship, right? Like it sounds like you guys have had like a lot of really honest open conversations about like this is who we are and this is what matters to us, you know, and and making sure that that those things you even said earlier, like I like the way you said it any time it felt like it was getting a little chaotic, are a little off the rails.

You were constantly bringing it back to your values is essentially what you said, Like you're constantly bringing it back to like, okay, so you know, let me ground this decision that we're trying to make about this thing in how who we are and what we believe and what's important to us. And then you made a decision through that lens which I think is incredibly like, so insightful and you even said something else that stuck out to me which was it made the decisions easier. Like it made it easier, right?

And I think, and I think that's the key right? Instead of getting, I think it's very easy when we're in counting all these challenges with the wedding planning on a lot of decisions that you feel like we're gonna have a big impact on a lot of people. You know, you start to lose your center just a little bit, I think in a lot of cases, right? So bringing it back and having that kind, I love the fact that you guys were having like a weekly or monthly date night, they just say like that's killer.

Like that's such great advice, make sure you schedule time to get together and be able to sit down and talk through these things. You know, like find a space where you can be fully present. Like you said, like that's such a great thing, be fully present and lean into making those decisions together. Like I can't again, like all that's just evidence for what I was saying to you earlier, which was your wedding was incredible and the reason it was incredible and I think the way the reason you guys walked away with the night feeling fulfilled was that you made great choices based on your values as an individual as a couple.

So I think that was awesome. Yeah. I mean there was another piece of the wedding that we didn't plan. It was the fact that was inside. Yeah. We we were gonna be out, we we wanted to be outside right, right. And it just didn't work out. So even all your planning, like it's not all going to go that way and it's also fine. It might even be better. Like we actually ended up loving that. Yeah. Yeah. So I remember, and I remember it was it was definitely a it was a moment where I felt like you guys, it started to rain and we had kind of known all day like we were probably have to go to a plan B. I remember pressing even getting they're going so we inside or outside and I was like, I don't know yet.

Like they haven't made the call because typically they wait until the last minute, but I do remember it was like a moment where you guys were being outdoors is very important to both of you, right? Like that's like you guys love hiking, you guys love camping. Like being outdoors is a big part of who you are? And so I knew that it was important for you guys have the ceremony outside, especially like at the place where we're at, it was beautiful. Like the outdoors area was just incredible.

And so I knew that it was kind of a big deal for you guys, but it was funny. I could sense that it wasn't a big deal for long for you, right? Because again, I could kind of sense that you were like disappointed and you kind of go through this initial disappointment that we can have our wedding outside. But then again, like you bring it back to this place of, okay, what's really important here? Like what's the reason we're doing all this? Like, what's the reason we're here today?

It's not necessarily just to get married outside? Right? Yeah. So like, did you feel it's funny that you say after the fact that you actually liked it more, you felt like, you know, I I hear that a lot, you know, I hear that a lot like a rain plan and people get brought inside and they're like, no, that was amazing. Like, like, I don't know why, I don't know why we felt like that was gonna be such a big deal. So, so what was it like, like in the moment at the wedding?

You know, for all those people in the future who's probably going to get their wedding rained on, it has to take it inside. Like did it feel like a big deal for you guys in the moment after the fact like what was that? So our wedding planner came and told me like she had her phone pulled up and had the radar up and she was like this, it's not going to happen. And you know, the radar is just covered with rain. And I remember having a moment where I could feel myself kind of like I could get upset about this and I also could just accept it and like kind of, which one am I going to choose right now?

And I just kind of went, okay, the movement inside and you know, it was a little bit upsetting and I think a lot of people around me kind of expected me to freak out. I had so many people kind of come to me individually and be like, are you okay? Really? Like yeah, I'm fine. But I just, yeah, I just think some of that prep work, we probably did to just remind each other at the end of this, this is about being with the people that we love and being with each other and being married after this whole thing is over.

Really kind of just helped me make that decision in the moment. And then yeah, there wasn't really a single time that I feel like during the actual ceremony or afterwards that I wished it had been somewhere else and ended up being really it was so intimate, like the way they set up the chairs in our little area, you know what to really call it, but it was just so intimate and I think that we would never have gotten that if it had been outside 100%. Yeah, but the most poetic thing about the whole day and probably my highlight of the day for me, if not watching our relatives tear it up on the dance floor because there's plenty of it was that we ended up getting to go back outside when it cleared up and we ended up taking you know, a couple cars up to the top of the wedding party and Nathan did some portraiture and this like magnificent, like full rainbow comes up and stretches across the sky.

So it's like you guys were just still like in the moment and it was it was very obvious that you guys were just happy, it's also freezing up there. So we really didn't think it was called it was the juxtaposition of things, was such were like, we actually got two bullet there. Yeah, it would have been miserable All right. So before we dive into like, the pieces of advice that you guys would have, I think it'd be fun for all of us to give like what was our favorite moment of the wedding, Right?

So like we'll kind of go through and everybody to say what their favorite moment was and I can go first if you want a second to think you got you guys go first. Okay, alright, do you know what it was for you? Let me think a little bit. I mean obviously the rainbow is just like, spectacular. Yeah, it was very, I was really happy for you guys to still be able to get outside. There's a killer, get in touch. But yeah, watching people just like tear it up on the dance floor.

There was a couple of times where you had relatives that were like, sometimes when Nathan's on the dance, like part of the philosophy of getting great dance floor shots that you have to get close to get in the mix to get photos that make you feel like you're on the dance floor, right? And I can't remember exactly who was but somebody who was like, really hamming it up for anything like, striking poses and like strutting. Yeah, sounds about right. Sorry. But yeah, watching the dance floor was like, really, really happened.

Yeah, it was a very fun celebration after everything. It was a very fun celebration for me, it was by far y 'all's gifts. Like holy cow, right? Like y 'all give the best gifts you guys want to say what it was. So, I was in the room with Lawrence when Lawrence was opening up his gift and I think you were in the room with Melissa when Melissa was opening up hers. But Melissa, I got to give you props like that, like that was such a cool idea. You want, you want to tell anybody what it was.

It was really neat. Yeah, so I gave him well three things really, but only two in the moment. Um and one was that I bought a record player and had it back at our house in Denver, but I gave him the record of our first dance song. And then I also had printed the sound wave of another song that's really important and meaningful to us. I had the sound wave of that printed out and I'm told that he saw it and knew what which song it was.

He did pretty well. Yeah, I think, I think, I think you did, Oh I didn't even have to open it fully, you know what it was. Yeah, yeah, it was a very cool moment being there and being and that's guys again like this is what makes this job the coolest like to have to be able to be close like to be close to you when you're opening that I could feel what it meant to you, you know, and it was gonna be able to document that, but just to be a part of that moment was spectacular.

It was very cool and I remember you opening up the thing and you're just like, oh wow! Like he and he knew what it was and it's such a cool I can I can talk about this subject. It was like a very cool idea. Like you can put it up in the home like do you guys have it up somewhere? I actually don't understand. That's the goal. Yeah. That's different. Yeah. No it's okay. It was just a very cool and then like the first dance song and have the record and it was who was the artist?

The first? And then Howard? Ben? Howard? Yeah. And what was the album? It was really putting us on the spot here. No, I'm sorry. I don't remember. I don't remember. I don't know. It's okay. It's okay. It's called right? So like for the Next President could tell you for like the next three months, it was always on here in the studio. Like I was always listening to it. Yeah. And I was like this is this is all I think I asked. I was like, do you know who this is?

I was like this music is amazing if you're and you haven't listened to Ben Howard. Yeah, I mean that was actually we we actually were I don't know that we were struggling to find our first song but just the things that we thought we would like just weren't quite hitting the right way almost like they were depressing depressing music. Like I said, I can tell you right now that album like it's like the perfect mellow like to edit to just put on the studio just like, I can I can get lost in that music.

I'll tell you right now we're glad we could help you. Yeah, Thank you. I appreciate that. But that was really, really cool. And then the like if you don't tell anybody what you got Melissa I thought was really cool to Yeah. So they're basically, when we kind of talked about are kind of the depth of our relationship with what it means. Yeah. It's basically at the end of the day that we're home for one another. Yeah. And so she, whenever we did the photo shoot, the engagement photo shoot and we remember bells.

There was a question that was asked. I don't remember that question, but I remember one of the answers was like, the question I asked you guys. Yes. Yeah. Because you were like, answer this certain question and she leaned in and said basically that I don't ever have to question. That's right. That's cool. You don't have to question where homeless again? I was like, damn, that's that's deep. Yes. Yeah. That's really cool. Yeah. You don't forget that. So, I found her a necklace with a pendant that had Oh yeah.

So yeah, that's really cool. That's and that's also it's also to know that I was a little part and having and helping helping that happen. I tell my wife all the time. My wife was like, you're you're way too romantic about this. But I'm like, I want couples to leave feeling more in love than when they got there. They really like to say that I think this is, you know, as the film guy, I don't do a lot of posing but Nathan kind of tackles the beast of like, it's kind of awkward to like try to get people to do something but he almost plays this like sort of like not relationship counselor role but like it kind of feels like that really is like what your sessions feel like is that you're helping couples connect and getting not facilitating but like prompting them to actually make meaningful connections and which makes it fun.

I came through in the photos right because you guys are like having fun and dancing around with bells. Like that was a fun but that's, that's really, I had no idea that that's where that came from. So that's cool. Thanks for telling me. That's cool. Alright. So for me, like the gifts where it's like just, it was like you guys have put a lot of thought and effort, you know, into the gifts and it wasn't something that you guys were like, oh I got to get a gift and you know, it's like last minute kind of thing and run into the store and grab something or whatever and a lot of couples don't even do gifts.

You don't have to do gifts. Like it's not, it's not something you have to, but like I do tell couples a lot. Like if you're going to do a gift just to make sure it's meaningful, like make sure it means something like, I think that's that's that's where it's at. For sure. Alright, so do you guys have a favorite moment? The wedding? Yeah, I have a lot. But so I thank you for saying that it was a real party afterwards because that's what I really wanted and I was really nervous that for some reason people wouldn't dance or something.

I mean we've all been to weddings like that. Yes. Yeah. People like we're dancing the entire time, which is fun. But yeah, I actually have a moment where we were, we actually got kind of trapped against a wall like talking to people, we couldn't really escape. But I had a moment while that was happening that I looked over and just saw people going crazy and I kind of was able to like pause and take it all in and just realized all these people around me, people who have known me since I was born, since I was little people who have only become friends recently and then obviously Lawrence's family who has become a part of my family.

It's just really special to be like, this is what I wanted. Like I want to be here with this person and I want everyone, I love to be in this room, having a good time and just being able to slow down and take that moment and I think was really special. That's incredible. Yeah, Yeah, that's really cool. It was fun. I think the change inside the outside was contributed pretty deeply to the intimacy of the ceremony like we talked about and definitely, I mean at least not yet and there's many favorite moments, but I think the most meaningful was that closeness kind of similar and that just feeling like everybody was kind of one in this, you know, and we even talked at the beginning of this idea of community and how, you know, we're not we're not just two people in a relationship, you know, we're we're two people in a relationship or in a relationship with a bunch of other people too and so there's this element of community that we wanted and you know, I'm extroverted but I get pretty damn nervous when I'm in front of groups of people and I just like I remember standing there surrounded by everybody just being like this is the chilis thing.

Yeah, because it really was Yeah. And feeling you could feel the support, you could feel the love, you could feel the excitement and I think being present to that in that moment, you know, she was coming down and as we got to finally stand, you know facing one another surrounded by everybody that that was probably the most impactful moment by far killer. Yeah. You know, I think it's so it's so funny. Like you guys, I think even though there was things that happened, right, it rained, which for a lot of people would be like, it's like the death wish for a wedding day, right?

Like it's like, it's kind of crummy outside and you can't do what you want to, especially when it means as much to the couple's as it did to you guys and you know, I'm sure there was like a lot of other little things that happened throughout the day that we're a little bit of a challenge and whatever, like, you know, a schedule, like things right behind sometimes and stuff like that, but you guys had the mark of what I would consider to be a successful wedding, right?

It was a successful wedding inside out. And for me, I think the way I define a successful wedding is and I've said this a couple of times now and I kind of feel like I'm a broken record a little bit, but like if you can walk away at the end of the night and feel fulfilled and you feel like the last eight hours, 10 hours, 12 hours, 24 hours of your life was something that you won't forget, right? Because not necessarily the way it looked, not necessarily because of what happened, but because of how it made you feel like if you can make that happen and you walk away with tonight and you're like, I don't think, like, I don't think I could have envisioned a better way to get married to the person I love most in the world, that's a successful wedding, right?

Like regardless of how big it is, how small it is, whether it's in the most beautiful location or it's in somebody's backyard, like it does not matter, that is the definition of a successful wedding. So that's really, really cool. And it was also like all of the things, all the other things that you hope for a wedding, like everything was pretty and photogenic and look good. Everybody was having a lot of fun for sure, but it's very clear that like, you guys had a vision for what, like the values that we're driving what you wanted your wedding to be and it lined up, right?

Like you did have a room full of community, it was like very intimate, you know, it reflects who you are and it was just kind of a wind from the top down, it was a win win. It's fun. So let's, let's kind of wrap up here with pieces of advice like things because I feel like the whole conversation like there's a lot in the conversation we've already had that people will learn something from, but just out of curiosity, like what after I have gone through the process of planning a wedding, getting to see it through on the wedding day and now you guys have had not just two weeks, four weeks, six weeks, you've had four or five months, right?

Like thinking back on it now, what's maybe a few pieces of advice that you would give couples who are in the throes right now of of planning their wedding, give it plenty of time. I actually had a few people tell me they're like, you're getting married when we had like almost exactly six months I think, but some people do it faster, but some people do and I don't know, I couldn't have done that. No, give it plenty of time if you can, but you know, I think the key around regardless of how much time you give yourself to plan, I mean, again, I go back to like set the expectations.

Yeah, and be clear about it and that's it. Yeah. And if you don't feel feel clear about it, ask, do you mind if I ask you? So you guys took about six months if you could go back? Like what do you think would be a more appropriate amount of time? Like did that feel that was like, you couldn't have done it any sooner? Like what, what advice would you give for a couple? Honestly, Really, I at least I feel, I think the only part that we thought we were going to get really hung up on and I think probably stresses out the most was like getting the venue landed at the very beginning and making sure that we had those pieces, those big pieces taken care of so we can do everything else. Yeah.

And we, we did those things fairly quickly in our timeline, but we also planned a wedding from a different state and I don't know if I necessarily recommend, I mean if it's, if it's really, you know what you want to do, Obviously there are ways to do it. I care, I'm like a huge details, person I care about every single detail. So people were like, well just like tell your mom to do that and I'm like, my mom is great, but I need to see it with my own eyes, right?

And we're both, we both like, yeah, we're kind of detail and like, and what's your, what's your careers like that? That makes total sense. Like what do you do for a living? I work for a nonprofit that does really work in Uganda, but we, you know, I have a lot of different hats and basically the administrator for the whole organization. Yeah. So that makes total always thinking about like the best way to do something most efficient and what do you do a home inspection inspections right? Like, like you have to be very detail oriented and together you got to really yeah. Yeah.

So so you know, if you were able to like let go of some of the details, you don't really care what the decision is, you can delegate it like great. But if you're going to be in a different state, just know you're going to have to travel back a lot if you want that control. And I mean I think I came back to south Carolina almost every month for six months, which that's what we chose. So that's what I did. But into the expectation piece too, I think with the vendors as well.

Oh yeah. And, and no, because we have, I mean because we are traveling, we're not here to constantly provide that. Maybe even for in person feedback, I mean we do have like parents to think that they were able to do a little bit of that for us. But like again the communication is key, like letting your vendor just know like what it is, you need what it is, you want the timetables you expect and for detailed reason, people making sure that, you know what they provide you is what you asked for because I mean that right there, if you can establish that it's like, oh the stresses off because I know they understand what I want and I'm not worried about them not showing up in that way on that day.

So the other thing I would say is it's really easy to kind of get lost in what you think should happen. Like whether or not you're aware of it, you're carrying in expectations of family, even friends of what they expect for your wedding. And I mean, I think our families did an amazing job of being like this is your day, We're going to do whatever we can to support it. But you know, I still had things like, I wonder if so and so wants me to do this.

I wonder about this and like make decisions based on what you want. Like we had to efficient because that's what we wanted. There were people that were important to me. So that's what we did. So like do whatever you want to do. It doesn't matter if that's quote unquote, not what is supposed to happen or people might think it's weird or they may not understand like it's not their wedding, so do what you want to do in your wedding because that's going to be the thing that you can walk away and be like, that was exactly what I wanted.

Don't compromise just because their expectations actually probably aren't that big of a deal. 100%. And if you can work it in and it's not like, you know, going to crush some other dream that you have for your wedding, like you can do it, but it's it's all about I think setting the expectations of what you want being clear about it, communicating it well and not settling. Like, so yeah, I think that's all great piece of advice and it's funny that you bring up the coefficients thing, right? Because I think that's such a great example of like, let's sit down.

Let's talk about what's important to us, what's meaningful to us. Let's talk about the relationships between us and the other people who supported us through our lives. What are some ways? Because I mean, like, you know, if maybe they're not, we had actually talked about this and I think on a prior podcast, like if, if they're not gonna be in your wedding party, that doesn't necessarily mean that there's not a place for them in the wedding, right? Like there's plenty of things they can do and a lot of people probably wouldn't even think about, like, having to officiates, but I thought it was flawless.

Like, it wasn't, it just wasn't a big deal. Like they did great, like going back and forth and doing different parts of the ceremony, like it was, it wasn't even a thing, right? And most people, I guess most people are probably thinking at least I was thinking like, why don't we always have to officiate? Why does there have to be one? Like, and, and those, those two people are very important in Melissa's life, and I got to know them more and they're great people. They both also bring different personalities in different strong suits, which we both were like, this is going to be fantastic.

Melissa told me, she said, you know, Michael is going to bring humor and julie's gonna bring the holy yeah, that's literally, that's literally how, okay. And they really did it. Here's the ceremony and, and it's done. Yeah. And it works brilliantly. So like, if there's something like that that you want to do, like doing most of the time, people are like, oh, that was, I've never seen that. And that was really cool. Did you, can I ask, like, did you just hand that to them? Like, did you just say, hey, we would love to have both of you guys officiate this thing.

Figure it out. Like, please, please help. Like, or did you guys, did you guys like, I'm thinking back and forth, like, I'm just thinking for couples who was in the position of going, okay, we want to, like, I want to involve somebody, they're important to me. I think I know a place to get them, but they're like, I don't know how this works. Like, how do you go through the challenge of figuring out something that isn't normal, right. I think in this like, very unique situation, both of them had officiated weddings before.

Got it. And I have also officiated some weddings. So what are you going to drop that at the last minute we can talk about that. Are you serious? You should have said almost fell out of my chair. So, so I kind of handed them, like, how many weddings have you been? How many have I been to? I don't think I've officiated two weddings and I've been in in some measure. I don't, I really don't even know, I've been to a lot of weddings. That's super interesting. But you know, like, okay, yeah, so I don't want to, I want you, I want you to finish what you were saying.

So I handed them an outline and was like, here's kind of, you know, the basic framework of what I want to do, but I really trusted them to also just make it their own and especially like the little sermon homily part, You know, we didn't, we had no idea what she was gonna share. So it was kind of both. And like, hey, here's kind of a framework, they asked us a couple follow up questions and then we just kind of let them run with it. Yeah. And I mean, and kind of going to going to the community piece too.

I mean, I think like if you really like if you really want something bad enough in terms of an experience, like figure out ways to have the people that you want again to be a part of it, be a part of it, do what you want to do. Those readers that we had was my cousin and a former pastor at a church back in north Carolina that I grew up in. And so we, I mean going back to that, that planning that theme and holding to that we really use that to figure out the different pieces. Yeah.

And organized from there. So, you know, I guess when we're the last piece of advice to, would be like, get clear early on what you want, figure that piece out. Like don't go to the details, like just figure out like what is it you want this to be and then that'll help, that's going to help solve a lot of questions. You guys, you guys aren't, we talked about kind of that way of thinking about planning weddings all the time and I don't know that I've had, I've personally had a conversation with folks that really see it that way.

And like, y'all's wedding was really a perfect example of applying that even down to, you know, you having to officiate that is a great example of, you know, you're, you're taking the mold of, of what a wedding tradition is and then giving yourself all the liberty in the world to adapt and change it and get creative right in a way that makes it fit you more. And then it went off without a hitch. That's, that's awesome. I say this often when we're meeting with couples for the first time and usually like usually a little taken aback that like a wedding professional would say this.

But I do tell people often that like a wedding in and of itself isn't all that unique, right? Like the concept of a wedding. I mean, people are literally like, there's what even just in the city of Greenville on any given Saturday, there's a couple of 100 weddings going on at the same time, right? It's not the wedding itself that makes something unique or special. It's what the couples are bringing to the table at the wedding that will make it unique and special, right? It's how, how can you, how can you create a reflection of who you guys are and what you believe and what you value?

How can you create a reflection of that in this event that celebrates the two of you guys coming together? The couples that, like you've said several times are very intentional about asking better questions, right? Not just like what colors do we want for the wedding or not just like what should our schedule be impressed? And I've done this on a, on a previous podcast, but you know, a lot of people really stressed out over the schedule and really stressed out over the timeline and that became become stressful if you don't take time to think to yourself.

So what is important to me? Like how do I want to spend the most valuable resource I have, which is my time and like you've got 24 hours for that wedding day. You've got 24 hours less than that really, but you've got 24 hours. So like how are you going to spend your time during that day to really do the things that are going to mean the most to you. You know what I mean? And you guys were asking those kind of questions and you structured kind of the schedule to reflect that, you know, and again, like all that's just one small piece of the puzzle, right?

But it's a great example of how you just, like you said earlier, a lot of people kind of attack, just like checking off this list that they feel like they've got to do without really asking themselves. Really, really asking themselves the questions of all the things we've been talking about so far. Yeah. And I feel like you have to nail on the head there. I know at least because hearing you say this, I'm like, I'm sitting here, I'm like, do I even remember the order of everything that happened, right?

Like I wasn't even like, present to that. Yeah, I was just, I was present to just what was happening in each moment. And I know we both shared afterwards that like, we were very thankful to have that kind of clarity in it and not be bogged down and just the operations at all. That's the last thing we wanted. Well, that's cool. Well guys, to wrap everything up. I just want to commend you, I'm excited for you. I'm happy for you that you were able to have the wedding that you guys had because it really did fit you guys to a t like, it was perfect.

It was like if I knew everybody who knew you guys and you guys personally when they walked in and when they, you know, started into the ceremony? Five minutes into the ceremony, they were like, yes, like this, this is exactly who Melissa and Lawrence are, this is perfect. You guys pulled it off kudos to you, this is that it was really cool. Do you have any part of it? 100% Yeah, I'm excited to go to you guys were going, Yeah, we haven't even looked at photos. Yeah, Yeah.

Thanks so much guys, we're really glad that you were able to come down one of the highlights weddings of my time here at LP. So I'm really glad to know you all 100% well guys, hopefully you took something away from this conversation. It was to me it was very, very insightful. I love getting to talk to couples after the fact they've gone through the process. They've being able to kind of see what worked and what didn't work then. Obviously for Melissa and Lawrence, they realized after all of it was over that all the intentionality they put into the planning process was for a reason it created a successful fulfilling wedding and I just encourage you to do the same, take the things that they were talking about, make sure you schedule those date nights, make sure you schedule kind of a regular time that you can come together and that you guys can lean into the planning process and and make it fun and ask yourself the real big questions, which is what do you believe?

What do you value? Who do you love and how can you structure a day around those things? Because if you constantly have those things at the center of your mind and center of your heart, when you're making those decisions is gonna make everything fall right into place. Guys, I hope you have an incredible day. A fantastic month. A stupendous year in an awesome week. Usually a month. Yeah, I messed it up. I'll see you guys next time here, angle light photography, we believe marriage is an amazing adventure and your wedding is the jumping off point.

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