Weddings from the Pros Podcast
Episode 58 with Nathan, Andy and Keri
Our engagement session with Andy and Keri was an enjoyable experience and I’m pleased to have them on this episode!
Tune in as they share pieces of their love story and talk about what works for them in their relationship and the preparations for their wedding.
In This Episode We Cover:
- Enjoy your time with the person who makes you better each day
- Don’t stress yourself when it comes to your wedding plans
- Use a disadvantage situation to your advantage
- How to create a fulfilling wedding experience for both the bride and groom
- Why staying on budget is important
- Why is a professional photographer is a must
Listen to the Full Episode here!
Read the full Transcription bellow!
Here at Angled light photography. We believe marriage is an amazing adventure and your wedding is the jumping off point. We'll explore planning an authentic and meaningful wedding experience as we connect with real life couples and the industry's top professionals. We're here to inspire and encourage you as you begin this journey of a lifetime. Hey, everybody welcome back to another episode of the show. I hope that you guys are doing well. So I am here with an angle like photography couple Keri and Andy. How are you guys doing? Good, good. So I'm excited that you guys are here. We're about to go and we're about to take a look at the images that we made, you know, during your engaged recession, a ton of fun. We actually did something that was really different and we got to experiment a little bit. It was even pushing me outside of my comfort zone, which I appreciate which we'll get to in a minute. But before we start, tell us a little bit about you guys. Tell us a little like what you do and then we'll start digging into a few questions about you guys and kind of where you're at planning your wedding. Like that's one of the things I want to talk about like professionally do or well, yeah. How do you guys spend your time well in the gym? Honestly. Yeah. You're on Instagram a lot. You wake up, go to the gym. If not you wake up and ride at least for me, the horses working eight hour day, go to the gym for an hour and a half, two hours and then go home. Eat, go to bed and get up, do it again. That's awesome. Yeah. You're so you're an equestrian. That's cool. Yeah. And you ride competitively eventually I you got to do the groundwork and the build up to be able to, it takes time. Right? Cool. So what do you do? Andy Yeah. So um I guess now I'm starting a new job at M AU as an interviewer that my fiancée here got me. She has connections. So I didn't realize how hard it was to get. Yeah, she did. I didn't know I had her on speed dial. Like you need to look at this person, I didn't realize how hard it was to get in until when I gave my two weeks notice in my previous job. They were all like, oh you got M au au I I applied there, I didn't hear back from them that was like everybody there. So congrats man, thank you appreciate it. What is M au au? I should know this too. It's an acronym acronym. I don't know if I should never give up either, but it's an acronym. It stands for something I wish I could remember but it's basically just a staffing company. It's one of the top ones in Greenville and their National International. Okay, I deal with a lot of people, a lot of different things to start the new gig. Yeah. It gives me a lot more time. Also outside of work. My previous job actually most of my previous jobs have been pretty much all work like with coaching, you know I used to coach for eight years and that was very time consuming, you know barely had any weekends you know and driving everywhere, it was fun but you know just not a lot of time for personal obligations and then uh for this one you know, I can actually focus on building, you know, I guess adult family life with Carrie and then um you know also focus on you know my bodybuilding passions I guess a little bit where I could actually have time to cook some meals that aren't you know just chicken breasts and rice and stuff, so it gives me a little bit more time to take time to you know eat some enjoyable food instead of just bland stuff, let me tell you you are jacked like when you walked in the door, I was like holy cow, it's only been like three weeks since I've seen you guys, that was one thing I was telling Carrie, I was like man, I hope I look big, I was, I was referring to the pictures that we're about to see, I was, I was like I hope I look big in those pictures, but you know, I guess we'll we'll have the wedding pictures I guess, you know, but you were probably the most intimidating, intimidating first, it was funny because we were at the gym and there was this bodybuilder guy and he was, you know, pretty respectable looking and you know, I was over there doing my own thing and he goes and starts talking to carry because you know, she's hip thrusting, like what, 400 pounds which is yeah, really? It wasn't that much, it was more like 3, 10. Oh yeah, it was like yeah, only three times. So, so she was getting, you know, compliments and you know, I mean when, when you do stuff like that, you're going to get a crowd and um he came to, he was like, hey, that wasn't a compliment, he wanted to use my machine. I was super setting with, well okay, it was like never mind. But you know, he was like, you know, is that your boyfriend or and Keri, my fiancée, he's like, you know, that's like the first Jacked Asian I've ever seen in my life because you don't see many jacked Asians. Okay, so I was gonna wait for you to say before I said it. Yeah, so when you walked in, you were the most jacked Asian I've ever seen in my life. That's like a huge compliment, I'll take it, I'll take it, it's so cool and it's funny like your Instagram is like isn't it Asian Jim monkey, isn't that Asian, Jim monkey? Yeah, gram account yeah, yeah. And it's cool actually what you guys have been posting on there because it's been your stuff in particular care has been super helpful. It's really cool, very educational. I've learned a lot. So like every, every time, every time I look at it it's been really, really cool. So tell everybody just really quickly how you guys got together. How long ago was that, wow, you want to, do you want me to, we can tell it, I'll start So he likes to open it up. Like if we met in a bar but I was working at the bar which is also just a piece of restaurant that had a bar in it. But his boss at the time I was 18, he was 24 sound like a creep. No, I mean my grandparents for 12 years apart so it's not, it's not a big deal, but his boss was my old swim coach I had when I was 14 and I did your on swimming for like a year and then I stopped but he came down to Clemson from Greenville and then I had a experience with the farm at my house and my brother had recently gone to Maryland just to visit a friend for a week. He was the thing that he did, he had a really good friend from, when we moved from Maryland and they just kept in touch. So he was gone that week, the week that I was moving into my new dorm for college and my dad was doing something on the ladder in the barn. I forget exactly what he was doing, but basically ended up kind of falling a little bit right, luckily. No, he fell off the ladder. Well, you know, he luckily he his leg got stuck so it broke it and basically kept falling. My goodness. Yeah, no, that was odd. But he had a giant, that was just kind of like a detail because it would be funny later. He had a giant black eye, but I needed someone to help me move in because it was just me and my mom and I was strong at the time. I hadn't started working out too much yet, but I mean I'm definitely probably one of the stronger people in my family. Sure. Yeah, I needed help. He was the only one I was comfortable enough reaching out to him giving him my number because he wasn't that creepy and I wasn't really expecting too much from it and I don't think he was either from what he's told me in the past and so I can't imagine Andy being creepy. Like you were probably the most kindhearted, just full of light kind of person. I can imagine. Like I can't imagine, I appreciate that and, and, and, and, and likewise, but you know, it's um the interesting thing was was he has jacked back then as he is now. I think there was a point where I think my biceps were bigger. Yeah, there was a point to where, you know, it was pretty bad. Like we started this whole fitness thing by um you know, Keri, I can't remember how she wanted to get into it, but she bought two dumbbells. I'm over here thinking that's a waste of time. I'll never do that. I'm just, I'm happy too much of a waste. Yeah, I'm happy eating my, you know, digiorno pizzas on the couch and you know, watching Netflix and stuff and you know, and and it sounds pretty bad, but you know, at the time I think she was doing it more just to get fit. You know, we were going to Panama city later that year and for me, I was like, I don't care how I look like, you know, I just don't care. And then I saw pictures of her and me next each other and I was just thinking, this is sound pretty bad. I'm that dude that has a hot girlfriend and people were thinking, how the hell did he get for? How did that ford get with that? 10 fours generous, right? That was for his generous, You, no, no, no, no. Yeah, but that's generous though because you know, we saw the pictures and you know, there's that one on my Instagram of me awhile back and you know, she has her hand around my waist and there's just this giant thing of fat in her hand and it's just like, and I'm just like, man, like that was, you know, I was not good. So, you know, I, I got into the whole fitness thing, we ended up, you know, kind of purchasing equipment for a home gym and from there. That's cool. Isn't it funny how addicting lee gets like, just just working out and feeling good? Yeah, I saw that you were swimming? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like the two things I really enjoy doing, I've got to fight camp that I do, which is basically like a high intensity workout kind of system. And I've like, it's only been about a month now that I've been doing it for like a solid three times a week, four times a week and then swimming. So like swimming in the other thing that I just love, that's really cool. Yeah. So like, I got to the point now where I think my record last week was like 10 laps in the pool. That's really good. Yeah, yeah, it was, I felt really good about it, but I'm a really, I'm a good swimmer, my physique doesn't, doesn't show, but I'm a good swimmer, weird. Like even when I'm, when, when you, you know, watch the Olympics and I guess, you know, I've had a good amount of exposure with this, you can be honest. He trained in Olympic Olympic wasn't a couple of Olympic camps. Yeah, Seriously, I know that, you're really underselling himself. He's got into swimming. I didn't know at that level though. Yeah. Like I was fortunate enough to be asked to coach at a few Olympic camps, you know, and again, a lot of experience from that and worked with a lot of high end athletes. And the thing is when you see those athletes, not all of them look like they're swimmers because, you know, when you think you think of like Michael Phelps, you know, chiseled like muscles popping out of his cheekbones and everything like 10 ft. tall. And, but a lot of the athletes that I worked with who were, you know, ranked like top 20 the nation and something they looked, you know, some of them look like football players, something, you know, like they just didn't do anything look like they could be a linebacker. Yeah, yeah. And some of them, you know, just look like some small, maybe they maybe played soccer or someone that ran track or whatever, but you know, and then they get in the pool and then it's like, oh, like you're really good at this fast. Really good. So, I mean, it really is very different on body types. You know, it kind of, it kind of shows, especially when I guess when you, when you're swimming, you're, you're very exposed, you know? Yeah, I mean, you have, you know, a little speedo on and whatnot, you know, I want to write and I was not swimming in a speedo, I promise. I mean, you know, it helps you look at the speed of your your cut right now, man. But you know, I don't know if the speed it would fit right now, I would be very afraid to do that. But so then tell me a little bit about like, wedding planning, how has it been for you guys? Hasn't been easy, honestly done. It's stressful. Yeah, we haven't done anything in a while. We basically got the venue where it's happening booked and that was back in March and June coming on July yeah, we've got the wedding, we've got the guest list, we've got the wedding planner, got an awesome photographer, you know, did the engagement shoe. But a lot of it now is kind of just more of a waiting game because the venue that we're doing is Yeah, it's stressful because you want to do something for it, but you can't because the venue that we're using is there going to contact us when it's time to, you know, take care of the food, take care of this X, y, and Z, and I honestly didn't know he knew. So this is this much about the way things you learn on the weddings from the pros podcast. Well then there was just like, I didn't think he was not really interested in. And he's actually saying all these things that are true. I have a very good stone face. I just I listen and I don't react a lot, It doesn't look like he's listening. I listen. So so in the process of planning has there been a tough like what's been the toughest thing for you so far? What's been the thing that for us? The guest list? Yeah, like that's a big deal, isn't it? Because you want to invite everybody, you know, and we're trying to keep it around the area that you know, our parents want to as like 100 you know, they're paying for the wedding, right? So, you know, we were gonna be respectful to that, but you know, like we could easily like, I know for me personally, I couldn't buy 100 people on my side alone, right? Just friends, not even just friends, like yeah, that's not even including the family and so that's been pretty tough. Just trying to have you approached it with a certain mindset that has helped you kind of get through that then that's kind of that's tough man. Like it's you know, when you want everybody that you care about to be there and there's a lot of people that you care about. Like that's that's a tough thing to try to filter out. I think Covid helped a lot with that because it forced the year before it forced your wedding to be small and then it really kind of focused. Well, yes, while you'd love for these people to come. You really have to kind of look at it a little bit, not even self I don't even want to say selfishly because it is for your own benefit. The budget you're paying for their food and the chairs and the tables and how many people if you're getting a hotel, how many people that need to stay in the hotel if there's an upcharge, blah blah blah decorations and more tables and chairs, you have the more decorations. So and then there's just a lot of things that are like, you know, small minute things that you don't think about that. People who have had weddings, no. One of her maids of honor came over one day and they were planning and she's like, you have this this this is this and what is that? All right. Like we need one of those. Right? So believe me, I've been in this for a while now. Even I still learned that like, I don't know what a Chevron chair was. You don't want to, it's just a special kind of decorative chair. That Saffron saffron. Okay, sorry, I'm with you. I have no idea. I don't know what that is. I'm like that is a beautiful chair. I'm gonna photograph that chair. I don't know what that chair is called there. I feel that pain. Yeah, I mean, there was like uh what was I know that we're having an open bar. So, you know, disclosure open bar, which you know, everyone's gonna be taking advantage of obviously and um has that influence to you decide to invite invite invite. Yeah we're not we're not having people under 18. Yeah that's because it's late as well. I mean if you have a lot of kids while we would love like the young cousins and all the Children to come and have it be a big family thing. It is more of an adult party one because it's later at night. I don't think it's going to get over until about 11 p.m. So it's just kind of the fact that they don't need to be out that late. That's more chairs, more meal plans, more just things in general. And then since it's an open bar it's more of an adult party and I know a lot of the people, especially with my family who live in New York, Texas, Florida, we haven't seen each other in a really long time and it's hopefully going to be a giant family reunion. Yeah and you just don't want people to in a way worry about the kids. Right? Yeah, for sure. That's the thing. Like I've got two boys, I've got another one on the way. Probably congratulations. Thanks. I don't know if it's a boy or a girl but we're gonna be surprised but like it is a thing anytime we go to an event and we have the kids with this it is tough like it's difficult because you know we have to have kind of one set of eyes on the kids which is fine, no problem with that, but it probably does mean like we're probably gonna be leaving like you know eight o'clock to get the kids home and get the kids to bed and that's why you know for us as parents like it's a treat when we can go to an event and go to places and go do things where it's just us, I think it's pretty cool. Yeah we're we're trying to do that and you know, I think there's gonna be a bit of an exception like my sister and I guess is the cat's out of the bag now she's expecting. So you know we just found out that you know she's been like three months pregnant or something so and uh you know she's gonna have a newborn there like five months because I think the dude it's like january or something so you know and then we have made that role and everyone's like well she's gonna have a baby there but they're in the wedding like both her and her husband are both in the wedding so it's like you know they were in the wedding before we knew they were having a baby before they knew before they knew right? Yeah they were like yeah I'll be in the wedding and then you know a couple of months later like oh by the way was it hard choosing your wedding party a little bit for me that many friends so it wasn't really that bad, like, like, you knew who the close people were in your life. It was very clear, it was a struggle to meet his number because I mean, I had three, he had like eight. I could have I easily could have like 15. Yeah, there could have been because I have so many friends that I've grown up with the years that I felt bad that weren't part of it, but I had to basically narrow it down to this like 50 let's select few people, you know, my brother in law, my brother, you know, Carrie's brother, who's gonna be my future brother in law, you know, and then close friends that I've also been a part of their wedding, you know, So I wanted to make sure that, you know, they were just as that they were just important to me as I was to them. So it was very difficult for me to choose because I, like I said, I could easily have had 15 people, you know, close friends of mine that could have been in that wedding, but I had to select it down and you know, obviously my brother, you know, it's gonna be my best man, that's, you know, because I was his at his wedding, but that was the easiest part because I was like, okay, like that's that's an automatic now, we got to kind of figure out from there. So every couple when I had the conversation with the people, they kind of prioritize like, what's important to them because that's like, you got to figure out in your budget. Like, you've only because you've only got so much money to work with, right? Especially when you said like, your parents are helping you guys to the wedding. You're trying to be respectful and trying to stay with them what they can do and which is totally understandable. So, like, one of the first things I tell couples a lot is when you were figuring out how you're going to spend that money, you have to prioritize like, what's important to you for you guys? What what was what was the thing at the top of your list? And it's okay if you don't say photography right? But like, seriously, I think it's always cool sharing with other couples, like almost every other couples. Like, I don't know what my top priority is. Like, I don't know. You know, so I'm just kind of curious what yours was. So to be honest, I think our top priority actually was the photographer. Like, yeah, it was so because that was the first thing we chose, you know, carry being, you know, very into photography. And I didn't realize that. Yeah, she got me in the photography because, you know, before, I was just like, I didn't realize that in the beginning. And then I like, found you guys. I think you guys follow me on Instagram and I followed you back. And I started looking, I was like, oh wow, like this is a thing. Like it's well, that's actually a really big compliment coming from a wedding photographer. Yeah. Yeah. No, it's cool. Yeah. Because before we found you, she was like, you know, do you know anybody that's good taking pictures. And I was like, no, not really. I mean, I I can maybe find someone at work. And you know, I started asking around if anyone, you know, was doing, you know, wedding photography. And then I come home and carries like, I found the guy like this is hands down, you know, this is the person we're doing. And she showed me a couple of the things on your page and there was a video that you had made to send to us, I think giving, you know, kind of introducing who you were and yeah, and I was like, oh man, this guy sounds really personable. Like, yeah, let's do this guy. You know, because yeah, we definitely wanted someone who was just not just going to show up for a paycheck. You know, that was the thing that that was that was a huge whatever you had to sell. That definitely sold it. So that was kind of like the cherry on top before we even talk to you like this obviously your work was huge. But you know, so but for me, yeah, like photography for me, before I met Carrie was, you know, alright, here's my cell phone, like just holding a picture that was it. And then Kerry taught me like, there's so many different things, you know? And and before it was like, like photography boot camp, like with her taking pictures of horses, it was like, no, you're so you're an idiot. All right. So then what was the second thing, what was the very next thing for you? I think food and venues are pretty high because you have to I mean, the venue is important and just like the capacity and everything and you don't want it too small, but then you don't want to pay for something too big. Sure. And normally you'd want it to go with the theme. I don't know if aren't necessarily goes with the theme, but we could probably make it right. And then food if not tied with that was probably second just because I've been to weddings where the food was either cold or just not very good. And it's just kind of like what's cool and food is a big deal. Like, you know, it's one of those things where like forever since the beginning of time, people have gathered around the table gathered around food. That's how they get to know each other. That's how they bond. That's how they, you know, they spend time and they develop relationships, you know, around food. So like, I think that's always it's funny how that's always a lot of people say, well you have food because it's just that time of the day and that's true. But there's also something to be said for the fact that you know any kind of major celebration you can think of usually involves having food of some kind like that. It's a thing you also like food oh what we do and we both, you know because we have we have our story. Yeah like we have like you know we had this date night like every night almost every like growing like when we were you know getting to know each other and whatnot. We always go to this Vietnamese restaurant make on, which I guess, you know, free ads but um you know so you can shout about but you know, so we we would go there like almost every like Tuesday and Thursday night and it came to the point to where we walked in and the guy was like I got your orders like well you know, so it was really good and they got a whole new staff there now so they don't only know it's quite as well, but but so what did you guys decide to do for your wedding as far as food? Like did you, we haven't decided they have an in house menu that I guess we could look online but I think a lot of it's going to be having to go taste tested to see what you like, They've got a huge riding and then you can do custom stuff. So if you don't like what's on the menu, I guess you could ask for something to be made. So we don't know, we have two very different palates I guess. You know, when it comes to our families, you know, my, you know, being from an Asian family, you know, I mean, my parents grew up eating like I guess was equivalent to like roadkill, you know, because you know, that to survive, you know, essentially, you know, so I mean like, you know, my mom's Vietnam refugee so she ate whatever she could, you know, and, but I mean she's big on seafood and my dad's big on, you know, seafood and stuff and you know, no, we didn't eat dogs or anything, but you know, sure, you know, but like, but you didn't have quite the variety, right? Like I mean, we, we had, you know, it's a very diverse palette. Like, you know, pretty much anything. And then, you know, Carrie's parents, they're still pretty diverse and they'll try different things, but we also don't want it to be like the first time they're trying something, you know, because you never know otherwise, I mean, you know, it's not going to be a good experience. And she said, I mean, and I guess we have the open bar. So I mean, I guess at that point you can just forget the food, you know? But well so when it comes to the wedding, what's the thing you guys are most excited about talking about rings, the rings and stuff. Well that's actually it's confidential but I guess it's not anymore. We haven't, we haven't. Well I mean it's it's definitely something I want to tell you because just for like the photos and things and how that's gonna work out. I don't know if you want to say it now. But I guess because so we when we first went to um I guess our first date which you can put first date was in Hawaii. That was our first date was Hawaii it was like three or four months. We hadn't gone on a date and it was just like, hey you wanna go to Hawaii? Like what? Yeah like I had a friend who was, he's one of my groomsmen. He was stationed in Honolulu and Pearl Harbor and he was like, hey man like I want you to come out here because you know, let's just say he he owed me a little bit okay. You know I'll come out there and you know, tickets at that point were very expensive. And I was like I'm just sitting here like, you know booking tickets and carried right beside me and he went to Hawaii. Yeah I guess you know. No it wasn't. It wasn't. Yeah I guess it's kind of like what I was confused. It took a minute. I mean it wasn't just nonchalant. Yeah, okay, let's go. No. So like, okay, okay, hold on, hold on. So like, I wanna like what made you ask carry? Like what we like, were you hoping that it was this like you slide in the DM s but like times 1000 like, were you like, were you like, listen, this is this is how I'm gonna lock this down, this is how I'm gonna slide into home. This is how I'm gonna hit a home run. Like what's all the sports analogy I can think of right now, You know, To be honest, I'm a super competitive person. And I didn't know too much about her. I'll be honest. Like we had been dating for like, she said like two or three months and that friends were friends for like one month before that. And I was like, you know what, I want to be the most impressive dude she's ever been with. So I'm going to take her to Hawaii And it was just like, all right, we're going to Hawaii, you know? So yeah, it was it was a bold move and came back and I was just like, oh, my bank accounts are looking too good. But you know, But it was fun though. And we ended up getting these necklaces that we have here. Yeah. And people always like, do you like marijuana? No, this is before marijuana happened. Way before marijuana. But I do like good old Dwayne Johnson. You know? So it's like, it's all right. But you know, but we ended up getting these necklaces here. And the friend we were with, he actually got one too, but he ended up losing his. So it kind of sucks. But we're actually gonna make me like anxious like if I lose this, I don't know, I'm gonna do, but we got are not too long after that. Yeah. So we wouldn't lose it. Yeah, But um, these are actually going to be our wedding bands for the ceremony and these are like kind of the theme, like the Hawaiian theme, the Polynesian theme because that's where we met. And so these are going to be, you know, the wedding bands that hopefully our ring bear, who's my dog does not lose. And uh, you know, my brother, my best man, does not lose. So you're saying that you're gonna melt those down. So we are going to go, we're hopefully going back for our honeymoon and we're going to get our wedding bands in sick, wow, that's cool. So we have them picked out the store. Gotcha. Gotcha. Oh, I understand. Okay. Gotcha. So you're using the pendant necklace that you have now for the, for the exchange and no one knows yet. That's cool. Okay, so we'll take that out. But that is that's really cool though. That's that's really neat. I've got this thing. It always comes up. I say it all the time, I think I'll make a special video on this sometime soon, but it feels like there's a lot of weddings where you go to it and it feels like it was a copy of the wedding that you were just at last Saturday, you know what I mean? Because, like, everything just kind of revolves around, you know, the pageantry of, of the wedding itself. And it's funny how the best weddings I've ever been to, there's these moments in the wedding where, like, there's things that are special to the couple that the wedding becomes a reflection of the couple, right? So, like, you guys are doing like, a Hawaiian, like, that's so dope, like, instead of just throwing up some drapery and, you know, getting pretty flowers and it's going to make it look like every other wedding, Like that's, that's going to be a really, really interesting and unique vibe for sure, and that's a cool thing and it's a major part of y'all's story. Like that's really cool. Yeah, it's something that we've been, it doesn't work out, it's gonna be sad. I don't know if we can do it, you will be able to do it. It's been, it's been very um, a big part of our relationship just because, you know, with going to Hawaii, you know, I found out and this probably would have been good to know, but I found that in Hawaii that she liked the beach, Thank God, you know, so that was you know I mean if we went to Hawaii and she looked at the beach. I mean that's just tough shift I guess you know it's like you're on an island in the ocean. I mean tough luck but so outdoors or hiking outdoors you know thankfully this is where we found out everything yeah because this is like everything she likes. I mean because if she was someone that just like you know staying indoors you know like you know got a link which I love comes along you know you know like staying indoors and watching movies, all that stuff you know, I don't know if it would have worked but the fact that she loves you know going outdoors, going to the beach being I guess one with nature as we would say, you know? But that was pretty important you know, for me personally and luckily I found that out on our first day in Hawaii. You know it's kind of a gamble. Yes, but that's a little bit but it's cool when you guys came back from Hawaii, how long was it before you proposed? Oh that was 2000 and 17 was so two years. Yeah because actually we went December 12th 2017 and we talked about it for a long time and honestly we probably could have a lot sooner but his sister got engaged to someone I think they were dating for what? 6 to 8 months or so. And then after that his brother got engaged to I think his then stealing our thunder. I think they were dating for like a year and a half and then we have been here dating for three plus years and I'm like, what are we waiting for? So it wasn't soon after that we got engaged in November. So it's about a solid two years or so, pretty slow. It got to the point where she just stopped dropping hints and I was like, what's taking so long? It was like, I had my whole like engagement ring designed and like on paper, I drew it out and everything and I would like show him pictures and stuff just as we were planning it because I mean we had talked about it, we thought about it and then after that happened is just like, so are we getting engaged? So even her parents were asking me, I remember his parents were asking, my parents were asking me her parents were asking me friends, family for a while. Yeah. And the thing is like, I remember going over because it was after after work one day and I was like, I'm gonna go and ask Carrie's parents for, you know, their permission for me to marry their daughter and you know carries, you know, telling me she's like, all right, well make sure you dress nice, you know, they're going to ask you a lot of questions, you know, they're going to probably sit you down probably like our, our, you know, long conversation, you know, probably going to have dinner with you. So make sure you're on your best manners and behavior. And I'm like, oh God, here we go. So I walk in and uh, walk into the house and the mom, her mom basically just throws me a case. There you go. It's the ring. I'm like, okay. She's like, well, we've been waiting for that for a while. How you doing? Yeah, I'm good. You know, and that was it. It was a 32nd, you know, thing. And I was like, you don't have any questions. You don't want to see like we've known you for three years, what took you so long? You know, it's like, you know, I guess he had called them to ask to talk to them too, so they knew what it was like. Yeah, that's cool. Yeah, because I don't guess you do that like on a weekly basis. Yeah, Yeah, for sure. I'm like, hey, can I have dinner with you guys? Just us, you nervous going in? Yeah, I was, I was very nervous. Yeah, I was super nervous just, I mean, I didn't think they were going to say no, but I did think they were going to ask me like, how do you plan on paying for this? How do you plan on paying for that? Like what's your financial stability here. Like, I don't know, like I'm just figuring it out. I'm still figuring everything out, you know, That's cool. Well, so as we kind of wrap up, I want to say this and then I ask you guys to get a piece of advice. Like the thing that I've realized about the two of you guys that I love so much is that you guys push each other. That's a big thing for you guys. Like it's become very, very obvious that you work to motivate him, you work to motivate her and you guys and I see it in the fitness stuff. That's probably the most easiest place that I see it at, but not even there. It's that you guys want each other to be the best version of the other person and I can see how you guys are always uplifting each other. And you know, Preston always says like he's like the best friends are the people who will like make fun of you to your face, but talk awesome about you behind your back, right? Like I never hear the awesome stuff to my face. I say awesome stuff. You don't encourage me. Like what did you say? He's like I said X, Y Z. Like why didn't you ever tell me that? Right. Right. Right. But that's but that's, that's cool and I just admire that about you guys. Yeah, I mean, I think, you know, for sure, you know, thinking about it a good amount and you know, I definitely wouldn't be the person I am now without, you know, carries pushing me and telling me, you know, you need to grow up, you know, you need to know that she didn't say it like that, but you know, like basic well, yeah, she did and you know, basically pushed me to be a better person, you know, and you know, now I'm in if I may say so myself in the best shape of my life, you know, and so, you know, you look good, I appreciate it man, you know, and like actually, you know, having a job, you know, a good stable job and, you know, because if it was just me, I mean, I think I would be perfectly content just, you know, sticking and and nothing against coaching, but it wouldn't have been as um stable because you're traveling a lot and stuff and it's hard, Yeah, I was a teacher for a long time and it's the hardest thing to do because you're constantly giving other people and you're not ever really taking care of yourself, you know, I mean, even your health, like you can even talk about your health in itself, you know, because you're you're giving of yourself sacrificing your finances, you're sacrificing your time, it's very, very difficult. So I get that. Yeah, it's it's kind of funny though, but you speak about, you know, the pushing yourselves, you know, there were, you know, with my old job, I used to have Fridays off, so I would go to the gym twice a day and so I'd be like I'm going to the gym and she was like yeah just leave me here, I'll just always be working here, you know, it's it's all good just so it's like you know, I don't want you to go to the gym, like I want you to sit here and eat next well while I work, you know, so you know it's so you guys are a bit competitive very yeah, we're competitive, you know, so you know if she's waking up at five a.m. To go ride or to go to the gym, I feel like I have to do that to, you know, which normally sometimes I do sometimes I don't know, but yeah, it definitely pushes you to be better, you know? And even though there are times where she wants you to not, you know, not go because she knows that you know you're getting a step ahead and then but it's it's that playful competitiveness though in that part, but it's it's a it's a good thing yeah, alright, so once you guys get two pieces of advice you can think about it for a second, if you want the first piece of advice is you guys have crossed a lot of hurdles as a couple at this point, right? Like you found each other which is amazing, you've developed a relationship which is amazing. You've taken a gigantic trip with each other, which is cool. It's amazing you proposed amazing and you guys are now going through all of the life issues of like planning a wedding and figuring out what you're gonna do it after the wedding and all that kind of stuff right? Like you guys have crossed a lot of hurdles at this point. Like it's, you know, there's a lot of moments where in your relationship so far that a lot of other people wouldn't have gotten past. So my first question is going to be and either one of you can answer this, Do you have any advice? Like what have you found so far that works in all those little like forks in the road where it could have gone bad or something, something negative could have happened and yet like you figured out a way to either talk to the person or work with a person somehow to set down the path that you wanted, you know, you ultimately wanted to go down. I think a lot of people, this is an answer that probably hasn't changed for years and that's about and I know he says there's a lot is one not going to be an angry that's never changed and it still works and I'll let you take that piece. But my biggest thing would be the communication, there's a huge difference. You've seen my parents were born in the fifties. So there's a little bit of an age gap because I was adopted. They didn't adopt me until they were later in life. So I actually don't have experience too much with like people his parents age and there's a whole generation just kind of, I've never really experienced with. So it's interesting to kind of see how people grow, how people communicate that sometimes. Like I guess I could say back then it just seems like people use their words a lot more or in some ways they would just hold a lot more grudges, but it kind of looks like people now are communicating more. They're talking it out if they have the personality to do that. I can't say that. I haven't seen some people our own age who just slam doors walk away and a little bit dramatic about it. But we never really did that. If we did slam the door, I might lock it for about two seconds, but there's no point in locking and you just open it up. But a lot of it is you can have a little bit of a tiff if you want to call it that or a fight or whatever you want to call it. But I mean at the end of the day, five minutes later it's just sitting down and talking it out. Yeah, you can talk loudly if you want, you can yell, but we won't really let it go to bed until it's figured out. Yeah, I think for me, you know, like she said, we grew up very differently, you know, my mom and she listens to this, I mean this in all the love possible. She didn't really have a childhood, you know, So she's kind of living her childhood now as a parent and so we were raised with a very young mentality, not that we weren't disciplined there and that we were disciplined, you know, and we were raised to be good people and compared to what Carrie's parents, you know, went through as baby boomers, I guess we'll say like harry well, she'll say something like you're so young, I'm six years older than you are, you know, but she'll still call me young all the time. And but a big part of it just letting the other person be themselves and not trying to change them to someone else, like not trying to make them like you not trying to change yourself too much for them. Although the more time you spend with someone, you know, I picked up habits of her, she's picked up habits of mind, so if you let the other person be themselves, I mean over time it's gonna mold kind of like, I guess this is this is a weird analogy, but like you put two things and play together and just kind of mix it together. It kind of becomes, you know, just one color that's kind of the same thing. Yeah, that's, that's actually, that's actually good. That's actually really good. That was trademarked right here on weddings from the program. That was that was cool. That's really good analogy. So the second piece and both those are really good piece of advice. So the second question I have for you guys both is, you know, what advice do you have for couples who are currently planning their wedding right now? Like is there something that you guys have encountered and you're like, oh, and you figured out how to solve it? Or is there a struggle that you guys have had and you've got to the other side and you kinda understand how to help other people do that. Yeah, definitely. I think one really big thing that I learned with it was when we got engaged, it was very shortly after his siblings. And I mean if this works for you, that's perfectly fine, it just personally didn't work for us and it made me very stressed out when they both got engaged. They went straight into wedding planning, it was probably wasn't this way where they got engaged the next day, they were planning their wedding, but it seemed like it was very fast right for us. We tried to do the same thing and we got engaged and it was like a month or two later, we were trying to plan everything and it just wasn't working out, it wasn't working out on a family sense with my family. It wasn't really working out between us. I had a lot of conflicts personally with it. It was very stressful. It wasn't fun. It was more arguments not between us, but mainly my family and just more stress and more just I don't want to do this more than what it should be. So shortly after that, Covid happened and when we just put a halt to it all together, just because it gave me some time to reflect and just realized that we just weren't ready to planet yet. We were fine with being engaged. That was already a huge step for us because even though Hawaii happened within like three months were pretty slow movers that so just to see everybody get engaged go straight into wedding planning. We thought we had to do the same thing or we thought that's what we were supposed to do, but I'm really happy in a way that not Covid happened, but it just shut everything down and slowed everything down and gave you time to sit back. Think is this really what works for you? Is that what you want to do? And it forced us to put it on the shelf for a good year and then we started planning it. It went so much more smoothly. It was fun. It was exciting. I was able to probably just get further and my own communication with my family. I mean, we're already on great terms, but it just kind of helped the relationships with everybody and it just worked for us. So that's, that's super interesting. Yeah. Was it a pressure that you felt like you had to do, not just planning right after you got engaged right? Like your family did, but like the pressure of this is what his wedding is supposed to be right or people telling you this is what a wedding is supposed to be and that's not what you wanted. A little bit of both. My family was very tradition. Tradition is not a bad thing, but they were incredibly traditional, their little set in their ways, which also isn't a bad thing. But even though we all have a great relationship, my parents and I are not the same were very different. I'm actually more like his family than probably anything else, which is probably why I get along with them so well with the food that travel the beach. So loving the outdoors and everything. We originally wanted a beach wedding and Florida because I absolutely love Florida. I want to move there for a multitude of reasons and that was my original idea and then I go to my family and it's one, but they're not, my parents aren't crazy about the beach in general and I absolutely love the beach. It's just like my place to be and then it also wasn't in a church. I didn't didn't ever really want my wedding in a church just personally because I like the outdoors and honestly if you're a Christian person or a religious person, how I look at it is if you want a religious wedding, god didn't build churches, he built the world. I mean you have that argument as well, but that definitely was the cause of a lot of the problems was just the different views and then probably not handling it well on both sides. Sure. Yeah. And I think, I think you made a great point like traditions aren't bad, right? Like doing something because it's tradition isn't in and of itself a bad thing. I think where it feels like a lot of it goes a little out of whack is if you're doing it because of tradition, but you don't understand why it's a tradition and you don't value that tradition. That that's the issue, right? And to do something for tradition's sake, just because of tradition doesn't always feel right, right? But that doesn't mean that doing it is a bad thing. You know, like I've been a part of incredible weddings that have taken place is in churches and because it meant a lot to the couple, it felt right, like I was there and I was documenting it and they were very religious people. It felt right, but I've also been in churches and documented weddings where you could tell that the couple didn't care not saying this to you guys, but like the couple didn't care anything about the fact that it was in a church, right. It was like, let's get out of here as quickly as we can get to the party and it's like, you know, you can't fake authenticity, right? And that comes through and the storytelling that comes through and you know, when you're documenting the story. So anyway, what are you gonna say? Oh, I was just saying, you know, kind of the piggyback off of that, that there's really just no right way to do it. I mean, there are probably wrong ways to do it, I'm sure. But you know, there there's really no right way right. You know, and so, you know, if that's taken a little bit of time to kind of think about what you really want and discuss that and have people because I know a lot of Kari's family friends and kind of opened up her parents perspective on a lot of her views, some of their closest friends went to a beach wedding and told them how great it was after they shot the whole thing down. Yeah. And you know, I mean, I think, you know, and and then just kind of not being set in one direction. Being able to go out to different ways because yeah, we're not doing a traditional wedding in the church, but we are gonna, you know, have a cake. You know what, not just because we weren't going to, we're going to just do like cupcakes or something like that because that's what my brother did for his wedding and it worked really well. But you know, her dad who doesn't ask for much, you know, was like, you know, you need a cake. Like that's one of the biggest parts of the wedding. So All right, well, you know, we'll compromise on that. So it's not like, you know, wanting to have everything your way, you know, there's also, you know, because, you know, while it is our wedding, our parents are a big part of it. Our families a big part of it, you know, we want to make accommodations and make it a celebration for everybody, especially because of the timing of everything. You know, we've just gotten out with my family, we had my brother and my sister both got married in Covid, you know, like, right at the start of Covid. So for us, it's going to be kind of a celebration of us, but at the same time, a celebration of everybody. You know, our family. Yeah, exactly. And um are you crying? Oh, let's wipe your face like, oh no, he's burping. Okay, I got you. So, um carry barker, ladies and gentlemen. Um but uh you should have told me, but like, you have such a way with words. It doesn't though. So he knew that would be a lot, you know, it's kind of weird that I usually I'm awful with words. So it's like, you know, But um but yeah, so I think there's just really no right way to do it and listening to other people with their advice, like one of her maids of honor or bridesmaids whatever came over and helped him, you know, just like maybe you should do this, you do this and that's a good idea, You know, we should try, you know, maybe like that and you know, listening to her parents, listening to my parents, listening to my siblings who have been through the whole process, you know, so just kind of looking at different views and maybe not copying it, but taking that idea and making it your own is really, you know, kind of what we're doing into account. So closed off 100% which was part of what was frustrating it because at least I don't think he had too much of an idea yet, but I was very set in one direction of what I wanted it to be. I guess I had to do a little bit of growing on my side and so cool guys, I can't tell you. So our our engagement session was fun. I'm super excited to show you guys the images now. Yeah, and your wedding is gonna be an absolute blast. I can't wait. It's gonna be a good time. Yeah, no, I'm I'm excited and we're excited to see, I guess. How does somebody really energetic guy? So we're expecting, like, you know, you know, get all these crazy positions and take photos of like crazy things and it's crazy. Yeah. Doing anything for the picture. It's cool. Yeah. And before you go back, so you got your engagement session was really kind of different and I don't know if I put this in the podcast or not, but we did holly powder. So we waited, we like hung out for probably like an hour after the session was over until nightfall and then we did something very, very different which was having some fun with holly. So much fun. Yeah, it was, it was like if you guys ever seen for those people who don't know, I'm talking about like the powder that they're using like color runs. Um you see it there a lot. There's also a lot of cultures and different parts of the world that you've probably seen photos where everybody gets into the street and then just throws this holly powder in the air and it's really, really cool stuff. But yeah, I'm excited to show you guys what we did from that because it was so exciting. Yeah. Alright guys, Well carry Andy. Thank you guys so much. I really appreciate it. Thanks for having me. Thank you. Yeah, for sure guys. I hope you enjoyed this episode. Yeah, it's so much fun. I think one of the things that I want to do more of is get real couples onto the show to kind of share their experiences because I think everybody learns from the people that went before you. So I hope you guys have an amazing day, a great week. Fantastic month. Super fantastic here. Very fantastic, super fantastic here, angle life photography. We believe marriage is an amazing adventure, and your wedding is the jumping off point. We'll explore planning an authentic and meaningful wedding experience as we connect with real life couples and the industry's top professionals. We're here to inspire and encourage you as you begin this journey of a lifetime.
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